but you know what? i am excited about being back. honestly. i have a lot to look forward to here also. on my way home from greece i was receiving messages from friends who wanted to make sure i got home safely, then a bunch of other friends stayed up til 2am, waiting for me to arrive. you can't really put a price on that, and if you guys are reading this, thank you. (for coming to the airport and for thinking of me, not for reading this. duh...) none of those 2-minute friends that i met along the way will compare with the real thing. i'm looking forward to catching up with friends, i'm looking forward to getting back to work, i'm looking forward to going for drives down the great ocean road, i'm looking forward to partying at retro, i'm looking forward to being a tourist in my own city for a while, i'm looking forward to saving up enough money so i can get the hell back out of here again. hahaha! 

 

i got so excited when i went to the supermarket this afternoon! i walked into safeway (hehe, that's sound funny! i still can't believe i'm back!) and i was about to message fran to ask her what $3.28 was in euros until i remembered that i was in australia and it doesn't really matter what $3.28 is in euros. then i was faced with a dilemma...is $3.95 too much to pay for a kilo of onions? what are onions worth these days anyway? have prices gone up or am i imagining it? can i bargain at the supermarket, or is that a no no here? if i pretend to walk off cos i don't like the price will they call me back and play by my rules, or will i return home onionless? (oi, shiela, check out me onions. special price for ya, love, howz 2 bucks sound aye? - nah, just doesn't have the same ring to it). no, this is australia. i will return home onionless. when i got to the check out and the chick asked me for $40.20 i stared at her for a while. not because she asked for so much money (hey, i bought a lot of onions) but because she wanted me to pay her in dollars! wow. imagine! dollars! dollars! do you know how many times i would hold an australian dollar bill in my hand and think about what my first purchase was guna be when i get home?? not many, cos i left my aussie money in greece, but i thought about it lots...dollars! amazing stuff i tell ya.

 

today i got up at about 2pm and looked thru some more stuff that i didn't get to look thru yesterday and tried on my old clothes to see if they still fit. i can't believe the amount of clothes i've got in my wardrobe! what a waste! what the hell am i spos to do with 7 pairs of jeans, 5 pairs of black pants, 27 black tops, 13 jumpers, 8 jackets, 39 handbags, 14 pairs of shoes?? i can't believe there was a time where i used to look in my wardrobe, this same wardrobe i'm telling you about now, and think, 'i need new clothes, i've got nothing to wear". i look in there now and i think, 'what a waste of money!! what the hell am i spos to do with all these clothes? who needs so many anyway? don't you know you can get by on 2 pairs of jeans emy?! duh...' i'm not guna buy clothes for the next 5 years now (famous last words)...

 

then i had my little supermarket experience and then...guess what i did then!? i bought myself a massive serve of noodles with tofu!!! MM MMMM! i've craved them for almost the entire time i was away. the closest i came to these noodles was in london, 5 months ago!!!

 

when i got home i called mama and papa in greece. what a surreal moment. me in australia, talking to my parents overseas! they were getting ready to go to the beach and i was getting ready to turn the heater on. welcome home emy. great timing.

 

oh, and before i go, here's my travel anthem for my next travels:

 

...and the road becomes my bride
I am stripped of all but pride
So in her I do confide
And she keeps me satisfied
Gives me all I need

...and with dust in throat I crave
Only knowledge will I save
To the game you stay a slave
Rover wanderer
Nomad vagabond
Call me what you will

But Ill take my time anywhere
Free to speak my mind anywhere
And Ill redefine anywhere
Anywhere I roam
Where I lay my head is home

...and the earth becomes my throne
I adapt to the unknown
Under wandering stars Ive grown
By myself but not alone
I ask no one

...and my ties are severed clean
The less I have the more I gain
Off the beaten path I reign
Rover wanderer
Nomad vagabond
Call me what you will

But Ill take my time anywhere
Im free to speak my mind anywhere
And Ill never mind anywhere
Anywhere I roam
Where I lay my head is home

But Ill take my time anywhere
Free to speak my mind
And Ill take my find anywhere
Anywhere I roam
Where I lay my head is home

Carved upon my stone
'My body lies, but still I roam'
Wherever I may roam

 

(wherever i may roam - metallica)

 

that's all for now.

 

lotsalove from...melbourne (aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!! make it stop!)

 

emy

xxx

"...more rocks..." "...here, i'll wash, arthur can wringe and you hang them on the balcony..." "...i can't handle this heat anymore..." "...fran! hurry! i've got something to show you on the terrace! grab your drink and come up asap! look! the acropolis!..." "...no wonder you girls aren't married yet! look at this room! it's a pig sty, and it's all your crap! clean it up fuck ya!..." "...let's take the backstreets in case he's on his way back from work and he sees us taking off. shit! is that him on that bike??..." "...you have to go to a bar called indy's in zagreb. you should go even just to look at the cocktail menu. it's not a proper menu. it's just pages of plain white paper with the drinks written on there and you get to design it yourself. they ask you to draw a cock on it..." "...max..." "...it was great meeting you. happy trails and goodbye..." "...what are you doing? this is my bed. oh you put the sheets on? my friend returned to the room before me and i thought she got the bed ready for me...shit, sorry. there's another bed on the top bunk if you want that one..." "...check out that palace! it's massive! and that church. i've never seen anything like it!..." "...uuum, fran? this train's rolling backwards. should we have gotten off at the last stop?..." "...please tell me you're joking. surely we don't have to walk up that hill to get to the hostel..." "...if i hear mozart's name one more time...!..." "...aaarrrgh! did the gorilla just pee on us????!!!!..." "...shhh, we gotta be quiet. oh shit! the pasta's boiled over! shit shit shit!...DING DOOOONG! oh shit! that wasn't the porch light, it was the doorbell! shit shit shit!  RUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!..." "...uuum, this isn't the maria-plain station? where's maria-plain??!..." "...oh.my.god! the colour leaked! what am i guna to do!!!!!?? what would my mum do if she was here????!..." "...quick! throw the whole thing in the shower and we'll try washing it!..." "...du reckon the lady will notice that the doona is soaking wet? no way, she's guna have to throw it out. she's guna hate us. and she only charged us for 5 nights instead of 6..." "...quick, close the door! B rabbit's guna get out! that's all we need. first we wake her up, then we ruin her doona, now we're guna let her rabbit loose!..." "...hello, you look lost. can i help you with directions? by the way, if you're looking for somewhere to have a drink, try the haufbrau haus around the corner from here..." "...do you have to pay to use these toilets?..." "...happy trails. might bump into you somewhere else around europe. goodbye for now..." "...the skylight's leaking!...fuckin busabout! can't wait til we finish with them!..." "...where have you been so far? where are you from? where are you heading to after nice? how are you finding busabout? yeah, this hostel's pretty crap huh? yesterday i went to have a shower and the water kept turning off. and there's no powerpoints! what the?..." "...and duhduhduhduhduh..." "...for those of you that want a drink, there's an irish pub around the corner from the hostel..." "...i'm just guna make a quick phonecall here. you girls keep walking and i'll meet up with you - don't turn off this road!..." "...i love you kangaroo, yes i love you. i'm sorry yes i'm sorry. i love you australia, yes, very good, i'm sorry, i love you kangaroo..." "...hey! are you german? shut the fock up!..." "...i need to do laundry, i stink!..." "...i can't believe this crap. how can they exploit people like that? 90euros for a candle!! you've gotta be fuckin joking! let's go have a drink, this is pissing me off..." "...hmmm...shopping?..." "...um.. there's no light in the bathroom. and do those stairs slope to the right, or is it just me?..." "...sugar sugar...honey honey..." "...that's the mona lisa?..." "...bad photo!!..." "...don't know what all the fuss is about really, it just looks like the art centre spire..." "...can you believe we are standing under the eiffel tower, fran?! ME and YOU, under the eiffel tower! in paris! we are in paris! ME and YOU! in paris!!!!. and look at all those guards with the machine guns! hmmm, he's not bad!..." "...hehe, look at that man in the funny mask! he's scarring the shit out of people! that's sooo funny. come, it's our turn to go in. oh. shit. look at all those stairs! no wonder quasi didn't come down once he went up there - he couldn't be bothered climbing back down!..." "...come on, we can do it!..." "...another turning point, the fork's stuck in the road..." "...you can't take the elevator from the bottom to the top. you have to walk to the first floor then take the elevator from there. no, there aren't that many stairs...about 340..." "...water! give me water! i'm dying! 340 stairs my ass! how come those people are coming from the bottom by elevator??.." "...wow! look at the eiffel tower! it's sparkling! i'm so glad we did this bike ride. it's the best thing we've spent money on!..." "...have you ever heard of latvia?..." "...sorry, you are not allowed to take photos. i will have to take your camera and you can pick it up at the end of the show..." "...i'm so over these train stations! they stink like piss..." "...nice meeting you. here's my email in case you ever come to australia. happy trails. goodbye for now..." "...it's 9 o'clock. get out! it's not my problem if your clothes are still wet! it's 9 o'clock, get your washing and get out!..." "...don't worry, we'll hang everything up on our travel clothesline and then we'll dry what's left with the hairdryer..." "...how many swiss army knives should i buy? one for my dad, one for my brother one for my cousin. am i forgetting anyone?..." "...shite, my jeans have fallen apart. i'll be arrested for indecent exposure soon. i think it's time i bought new ones..." "...wait til we get to prague..." "...look at that waterfall!..." "...i need to get out of here! i'm getting cabin fever! i've read all the books i can find. let's go to the bomb shelter for a drink tonight..." "...but it's raining! what about our hair?!..." "...stay in touch. safe travels. goodbye..." "...bloody norah!..." "...get up ya lazy bitches!..." "...which street did we come from? we're guna miss the last bus if we don't find the busstop soon!..." "...i wish it would stop raining..." "...put your masks on! we'll take photos with them. ok, you sit over there, you there, and i'll set the camera up and then jump over there...quiiiiiiiiiick before the timer goes off!!..." "...man, these mozzies are killing me! they won't stop bitting! bastards!..." "...ciao ciao ciao..." "...alora. ALORA. alora. alora. alora. alora. alora..." "...um. what day is it again?..." "...i've gota call home at some point today. haven't spoken to my parents for a week..." "...i've got the hiccups..." "...now really, what do i need one of those squeeshy things for? no, i don't have children to give them to, no i don't want your squesshy thing, no i won't be buying one. thank you. i said no squeeshy things!..." "...watch your bag. there's gypsies on this train..." "...holy shit! there's the colossium!...can you believe we're standing in front of it!?..." "...can't believe i'm eating a cheese sandwhich inside the colossium...who woulda thought?..." "...look! there's the pope! i think he's blessing us in italian..." "...time grabs you by the wrist, direct you were to go..." "...i've gotta do a post. my backpack's getting too heavy. shit, i gotta carry all that crap to the post office now..." "...whadayamean i have to go to a newsagent to buy a box and an envelop??! this is a post office for godssake! do you sell stamps at least?!..." "...i've got the hiccups again..." "...boo!..." "...yeah , fran, that was really scary..." "...fran, number 4, that 'beautiful' song is on again. we've gota find out who sings it..." "...it's our last day here. let's see what's guna happen..." "...scusi mate. can we chuck these bags under the bus?..." "...have you got any aspisin left? i've caught a cold again..." "...i have to buy a phone card. i told jacs i'd call her today..." "...fuck. another church..." "...what time are we setting the alarm for in the morning?..." "...is there anything we have to do tomorrow? i think i'm due for a day off..." "...happy 4 month anniversary! can you believe it?? four months!!..." "...so make the best of this test and don't ask why..." "...night maude..." "...coffee?..." "...what time do we have to be at the station?..." "...which platform?..." "...i'm hungry again..." "...the ferry can't be booked! how are we guna get to sicily now??..." "...let's go, we got an invite to go to the cockpit of the ship with the sailors. wooohooo!..." "...hiccups again..." "...si, ferry...sicilia...malta..today?...time? che...t i m e...f e r r y...g o..." "...there isn't??! what do you mean there's no ferry leaving for malta today?? what are we guna do now??...we don't have accommodation..." "eeeeey, carmelo! ciao ciao! si, dormire buono! graci!..." "...set the alarm for 7.30am. we have to get our tickets for malta as soon as the office opens. there's no way we're staying in pozzallo another night!..." "...where the hell is carmelo? he said he'd meet us here at 8. screw this, lets walk into town before the tickets are sold out..." "...oh...it's daylight savings today?...oh...so it's 8.30 now, not 9.30...oh...so carmello didn't stand us up?..." "...fran, i'm guna be sick. where's the toilet?!..." "...tomorrow we go gozo..." "...iiiiiiii love you, youuuuu love me, weeeee're a happy family..." "...hiccups again..." "...man, i'm starving...we have to go find food..." "...lets not go back yet. there's some benches there, we can sit and talk for a while..." "...i'm seriously starving now. let's look for some shooting stars and wish on them for food..." "...look fran, a bakery! du think it's open at this time of the night!!? oh thank you god! it is! quick! bread!..." "...we'll call this one guiseppe!..." "...it's not a question but a lesson learnt in time..." "...i so can't wait to get home. i wish we could just press 'fast forward' right now...and we've still got months to go. du really reckon we'll make it? what the hell were we thinking maude?..." "...oh maaaan! look at all our clothes! it's so good to change these jeans! and this top! i forgot i even brought it with me! this is so good! and the hair straightner! hello hair straightner! i missed you baby!..." 

 

END OF ACT I

 

 

"...look! snow! it looks so pretty!..." "...it's so freakin cold. lets sit in this cafe and have a hot chocolate. i just wana feeeel..reeeeal looove..." "...i'm not getting in that lift. let's take the stairs..." "...mladin's a funny bastard isn't he?..." "...we have to go buy jackets. and shoes. i can't handle these clonkers any more. i hate them. one day kids will be teasing our kids at school that their mammas wear army boots and our kids won't be able to say anything!..." "...tomorrow we'll go to the castle..." "...ok, tomorrow we'll go to the castle..." "...my stupid phone's not working again. i tried to send a message and it won't go thru..." "...time for another hot chocolate?..." "...bosnia? yeah, why not? bosnia sounds good. we'll check it out..." "...didn't they say they were guna pick us up from the station?..." "...i've gotta stop tripping over!..." "...that must be pidgeon square and that must be our hostel..." "...it's something unpredictable but in the end is right..." "...this is amazing. look at all the bullet holes in the buildings. and everyone is so friendly and happy, like nothing's happened..." "...can you believe we were watching the war on the news about 10 years ago and now we're here? wait, i have to touch a bullet hole..." "...no more burek. i can't handle any more burek. all i want is a salad sandwich..." "...um...there's no hot water again...and the bath is full of hair. those boys are fuckin feral..." "...that tour was crap..." "...let's go have a look at the turkish bazzar for a while and then we'll go back and get some sleep..." "...i'm not that tired anymore. let's try and find a cappucino and then maybe we can go to the suprmarket and get something to cook for tonight..." "...what the hell is that noise?? oh, it must be the muslim priest praying from the mosque. how cool is that?!..." "...what the hell does Km stand for?..." "...i've got the hiccups again..." "...what's the exchange rate?..." "...fran, do you really need another scarf?..." "...do you know what day it is today? i've lost track again..." "...these shoes are pissing me off..." "...come in, come in. no buy anything. just for look...is free to look..." "...do you have any vegetarian food here?...v e g e t a r i a n...you know, with no meat? no, no fish and no chicken either..." "...man that sounds so haunting. i have to find out who sings it..." "...this is amazing. how do we explain it to people back home?..." "...i hope you had the time of your life..." "...hehehe! i'm so funny!..." "...what do you reckon the first thing will be that you do when you get back home?..." "...you know what i really miss? i miss being able to just get in my car and drive without having to figure out timetables and wait for the bus. and listen to my music!..." "...do you reckon we'll remember how to walk in high heels again when we get back?..." "...i need to grab the hairdryer from your backpack to dry my shoes..." "...it's in the bottom..." "...let's stop for a coffee. we can write out our postcards and use the toilet..." "...i'm frozen, i need to thaw out..." "...what's the toilet like here?..." "...it's a squat. and bring some paper with you. there's none in there..." "...no way! we get our own rooms tonight for the first time in months! what luxury!...and look! hot water in the shower and paper in the toilet!..." "...check out the bridge! it's so stunning! i'm so glad we came here..." "...let's ask that dude over there to take our photo. um...why is his friend creeping into our shot?..." "...you from australia! welcome! welcome! my son live in australia. he want big shop so he move there. me? i happy with small shop so i stay here... you try cake? i give you real bosnian cakes. wait, you must try this alcohol too. very good wine. you come back for a drink tonight maybe?..." "...yook! vat is yook?? hahahah! yook!..." "...passport!..." "...you come stay in my hotel! i have very good hotel. hot water, breakfast. yes, yes, in old town. here i show you map. 5 minutes from everything! cheap price!..." "...you mean we gota climb all those steps to get to our room??!..." "...um, fran? i don't think this is elizabethtown..." "...oh man! it's raining again. i'm so over this!..." "...can you be bothered seeing the city walls?..." "...and this fountain was placed here after the conflict between the croats and the aboriginals in 1506AD as a standing symbol of peace and unity between the 2 cultures...hahahaha! we're such dickheads!..." "...so take the photographs and still frames in your mind..." "...have we decided what we're doing for xmas and new years. we really need to book something soon..." "...and now...you must give me 200kunar and i go!..." "...no! no map!..." "...you pay for tonight or not?!..." "...i can't handle this anymore! i'm over the cold, i'm over living out of a backpack...i just want my bed and a full wardrobe! it's guna be so good to wear something other than jeans again. and i can't wait to get rid of these shoes! and i can't wait to see my friends again!..." "...i know! and these wooly mammoth jackets! it's guna be so good to walk around in singlets again! one layer of clothes, not three!...and to be able to just pick up the phone and ring people! can you imagine?! we won't have to plan it for a week beforehand! and imagine just being able to put our clothes in the washing machine and walk away, instead of having to spend a whole day at the laundromat!..." "...yeah, and being able to go to bed whenever, without worrying that we'll wake everyone up. and waking up when we feel like it, not when the others get up! imagine!..." "...yeah, i can't wait for anzac day so we can get that over and done with and go home..." "...let's go check out indy's. we'll have a drink for daniel and draw a cock on the menu...hahaha!..." "...ok, we'll have just one and then we'll get home early cos we've got an early start in the morning..." "...ok, just one more..." "...danielsan, this one's for you!..." "...hiccups again!..." "...hanging on a shelf in good health and good times..." "...no, sorry, we left our passports at the hostel. we are from australia. we'll be gooooood, we promise! hehehe!..." "...shh, emy! shut up, we'll get into trouble!..." "...oh shit, where did that pole come from?..." "...you know we gota be up in 4.5hours to catch our bus?..." "...who cares! we're leaving croatia! i'll get up in 3 hours if i have to, i don't care how hungover i am!!!..." "...hello, welcome to slovenia. i'll try and give you all the information i have. take your backpacks off - they look heavy. here, let me help...i finish work early on tuesday. if you like, i'll show you around ljubljana..." "...look at this town square! isn't it beautiful! i've never seen anything like it!..." "...everyone is so friendly and happy! i love it here! i don't wana go home anymore!..." "...tatoos of memories and dead skin on trial..." "...i'm hungry again..." "...shopping?..." "...and we still need to find accommodation for xmas and new years..." "...let's go use the net for a while. let's see if we got any love from australia...nope. no love. just a stack of forwards..." "...um, fran...you know when you took the washing out? did you see my undies anywhere? i can't find them..." "...hi david! thanks for picking us up...sorry we're late. we just finished doing our washing and it took forever..." "...wow, you live in a great city. the castle looks amazing..." "...let's try some hot wine tonight..." "...mm mmm, i think it's already getting to me..." "...we really need to find shoes so we can get rid of these clonkers..." "...i can't believe we didn't find anything in that whole shopping centre!..." "...wait til we get to prague..." "...i have to remember to buy postcards and magnets before we leave slovenia..." "...kai is going to lake bled tomorrow. du wana go with him so we can get out of here for the day?..." "...look at those mountains with the snow! they look awesome!...wait, let's take a photo..." "...i ak this man fow photo. photo no good but i say ow tank you tank you so velly velly much!..." "...what's harvey norman doing in slovenia?..." "...i seriously need to listen to some of my music. i'm guna get a diskman..." "...can you believe all these people waiting to get in to aldi's! what nuts! stop fuckin pushing dude, it's only a supermarket!!!..." "...oh god, we still have to walk all the way back..." "...we still gotta go to the caves. maybe we can check out and leave our bags here and go the caves then maybe catch a night train to poland tonight?..." "...you're joking! we have to climb up that hill! why couldn't they just continue that little trainline to the top!!?..." "...this castle's crap..." "...i've checked out the trains to poland. there's one leaving at 2am, and we have to change trains about 3 times. it's guna take about 16hurs to get there. we're guna be so rooted..." "...what do you mean the ticket office has closed??! we need to get out of here tonight!!!!!..." "...let's just punt it. everything always works out in the end..." "...have you got any euros left for the ticket thru austria? i just changed all my money over. i think i've only got about 20euros left. i wonder if that'll be enough?..." "...shit there's the ticket inspector. we don't have a ticket. we're screwed now. i wonder if he'll let us buy one on the train. i wonder if we even have enough money!..." "...oh shit! everything's written in german and our train leaves in 5mins! how the hell are we guna find out what platform we have to be at???..." "...we made it! high 5 for team work!..." "...is there any room in that cabin? shit, traffic jam. back up!..." "...can you believe how cheap this hot chocolate is? my shout!..." "...did you take down the directions for that hostel? i wonder if this is the right street. let's ask someone, i can't walk around anymore. i need sleep!..." "...no one speaks english here! let's try the next street..." "...aaaah! the bed just broke!..." "...let's just do a tour out to auschwitz. i can't be bothered bussing it..." "...those italians are driving me nuts! i wish they'd shut the hell up..." "...i'm just guna call home and then call jacs. i'll meet up with you later..." "...i feel like some of that mushroom pierogi that we had the other day. and look, hot beer. what the? i've gotta try it..." "...i'm guna go have a look for diesel jeans for my bro and then i gotta go to the postoffice. you go to wawal castle, i can't be bothered. we'll meet up again when we're done..." "...em, i think i found shoes!..." "...i've got the hiccups again..." "...boo!..." "...whatever...put some effort into it at least!..." "...let's go watch a movie..." "...du wana check out the xmas markets for a while and then we'll go get something to eat..." "...how much did the post cost ya? how many kilos? how long did they say it would take to get there? did you register it? let's hope it gets there in one piece..." "...i don't know what to get for my dad. a mug? a keyring? men are so much harder to shop for..." "...i'm guna knock those italians out if they don't stop talking. i can't hear shit..." "...i can't believe what evil bastards those nazis were..." "...i wish we hadn't done the tour. it would've been better if we bussed it..." "...can you believe how dark it is already? it's only 5 o'clock and it feels like it's already after 10...this so sucks..." "...du reckon we should just give warsaw a miss and go straight to bratislava instead?..." "...man, this is pretty impressive. everything's made of salt!..." "...look at those salt sculptures!..." "...my cousins just had a baby girl!!..." "...du reckon this is going to bratislava? i know it says berlin, but this is the right platform... it's all part of the adventure, no? let's just see where we'll end up tonight..." "...em! it says katowice! quiiiick!!..." "...there's room in this cabin but there's 3 polish mamas asleep on the seats..." "...it's a communal bathroom with no door..." "...um, fran? don't mean to alarm you or anything, but there's a guy running around naked outside our room..." "...yummyyummy, yummyyummy..." "...next time we order 'vodka lemon and lime' around here, i think we need to be more specific about our requirements..." "...hari krishna hari krishna hari krishna..." "...this has to be the biggest supermarket in the world!..." "...oh shit! the yoghurt's gone everywhere! it's all over the bed! and my jeans! this was my clean pair! quick, grab me some toilet paper! oh god, i smell like a big strawberry..." "...i don't think we're guna find the cinemas, and my feet are frozen. du wana just go to that club that those french guys told us about on the boat or whatever it was?..." "...i'm seriously over this cold and the travel. if it wasn't for anzac day i reckon i could easily pack it in now..." "...em, just think how lucky we are to be doing this...come on, let's have another vodka and redbull..." "...another vodka and redbull?..." "...is it time for another vodka and redbull yet?..." "...look! there's sydney. quick, let's lie on the frozen ground and take photos!..." "...AAA...nother...TUR...ning...point..." "...thefork'sstuck..." "...inthe..." "...ROOOOOAD..." "...oh shit, we gotta be up early in the morning to check out..." "...who cares?? hehehe! i had the best night tonight. we so needed a night out! hehehe..." "...what the hell is that noise coming from our room?? it sounds like a bear!..." "...it's monumental. he hasn't stopped snoring. I've never heard anything like it before..." "...according to the map it looks like it's only about 5mins away from here..." "...i don't think this is right. let's ask someone..." "...we've been walking around for the last 3hours. i need a coffee and i need to thaw out..." "...what's the name of this street...oh, you don't speak english...oh..." "...i don't get it - how come there's no street signs anywhere?? aaaah! i just wana find the hotel now! i'm over this! i'm hungry and tired and cold!..." "...scuse me...do you know where this street is? we're looking for this hotel. oh, you don't speak english? uuuum, THIS...HOTEL...WHERE?..." "...you're joking! we practically walked straight past it an HOUR ago! aaaaaaaaaarrrrgh!..." "...hehe! check this out! big brother czech style! oh man, have a look! they're guna start punching on soon!..." "...i heard krumlov house is a good hostel. i've got a brochure and there's a map. let's ask someone which way we're spos to go..." "...you mean we could've just crossed that bridge and we would've been here an hour ago???..." "...vegie restaurant! yaaaee!..." "...here is some xmas tea. no, it's on the house cos your meal is going to take a while. enjoy..." "...you're greek! tell me what's it's like to live in australia!..." "...hmmm...there's too many to choose from. i think i'll have the pink panther to start with..." "...yeah! that sounds great! we'd love to come to the monastery! thanks. we'll meet you at the restaurant at 6..." "...oh my lord. i'm frozen. i can't feel my feet..." "...what's with the traffic jam?...oh, they're giving out free beer and presents at the door. that would explain it..." "...are you sure it's safe to walk across this frozen lake? has anyone ever fallen thru?..." "...germany is just on the other side of this hill..." "...the iron curtain used to pass thru here..." "...sorry, it's the last size..." "...look at these ceramic figurines. they're pretty cool. i reckon they'll look good in my house. du reckon they'll be ok if i post them?..." "...why is everything closed already? it's only xmas eve?..." "...let's go check out the castle..." "...you mean the potluck dinner is spos to be tonight??..." "...i so can't be bothered! let's just find somewhere that's open and eat here..." "...um...nothing's open. i wonder if there's any food left at the hostel..." "...du reckon it'll be really bad if we just rock up now? they've all probably finished cooking by now. we'll be the last ones..." "...what if we just make mashed potatoes? we'll just throw the corn and the yoghurt in and hope for the best..." "...mm, this mash is great! who made it??..." "...WE DID!!..." "...let's go to the other hostel up the road for a couple of drinks..." "...we'll go for the cheap vodka..." "...oh that is so feral!...let's have another one!..." "...hiccups again..." "...let's see if there's any food left in the fridge, i'm starving. shh, don't make any noise. here's some of that yoghurt we used earlier. oh shit, it's vanilla yoghurt! we put vanilla yoghurt in the potatoes! hehehe!...shh!" "...that malt wine stinks!..." "...i have to call home. my uncle died this morning...i might try calling jacs and mark after that too and i'll meet you back here for lunch..." "...uuum... i know i'm kinda blind and all, but...am i seeing things or did a man just walk into this restaurant with a goat, a sheep and a dog?..." "...let's check out that bar...what's with all this headbanger music? they seriously need to turn that jukebox down a bit..." "...du wana try that horor bar across the road? i think it's open now..." "...do you want to know how redbull got it's name?..." "...and so this is xmas, and what have you done? another year over, a new ones just begun..." "...happy 5 month on-the-road-anniversary!..." "...my feet are still frozen..." "...let's check out this bar. we'll have an anniversary drink and then go home..." "...i think i finally found boots!..." "...du wana watch a movie tonight?..." "...let's find charle's bridge..." "...it's so slippery here. i bet i'll be the first one to go ass over..." "...we really should go watch one of those blacklight shows. i wonder if we'll have enough time tonight..." "...watch the slush..." "...i have to go to that communism museum before we leave prague. i wana know what happened..." "...can you believe it'll be 2006 in 3hours, 24mins and 15sec!?..." "...let's have a drink to celebrate the oz new year..." "...photo time! grab your drink! channel...(!)..." "...that one turned out shite. let's try it again..." "...wait wait wait! one more!..." "...what's with all these italians!?..." "...the bastard! he scared the shit out me with those firecrackers!..." "...those donut thingies smell unreal...we gota try one. or 10..." "...buon anno!!! buon anno!! novi knock!!..." "...let's have one last drink at harley's before we go to sleep..." "...that tour starts in 5mins. du reckon we'll make it?..." "...and this is a classic example of early gothic architecture..." "...oh please somebody ask if we can stop for coffee! the tour sounded like a good idea at the time but my foots are frozen now. i can't feel my toes!..." "...look at all those graves stacked on top of each other!..." "...ok...belgium or munich? we can either work our way up and around, or down and across..." "...du reckon that's the right church? i don't see any bones and skulls...hold on, what does this sign say?...oh, wrong church. let's keep walking..." "...look at all the names of the jews. there's so many of them!..." "...nuh, i can't be bothered with any more synagogues and churches. you go, i'll wait outside..." "...we should have just enough time to go visit the dancing house before we have to catch the train..." "...oh shit, is that the time! run! our train leaves in half an hour and we still have to pick up our backpacks!..." "...wana go back to the haufbrau haus again, for old times sake?..." "...i'm over these canadians. they're being dickheads. let's go..." "...du reckon our jackets will fit into the washing machine too? it looks a bit tight. maybe we need another machine..." "...what's all that white stuff on our clothes? what the hell? they've been in the wash for an hour now and half of them are still dry! they had no room to move in there. oh shit..." "...have a look at the ceiling around the lights. can you see the swaztika? it's been there since hitler was here..." "...actually, this building is only 250 years old..." "...what else can we do now. it's too early to go home yet. oh look, there's a church. i think it's open. wana climb that tower?..." "...i'm dying! how many more steps do we have to go??...and why the hell aren't we fit yet after all these months??!..." "...what time does the train leave for dachau?..." "...this is gruesome. have you seen the photos of those poor inmates? i reckon this is worse than auschwitz..." "...can we go now? i can't handle this anymore. and i'm starving. let's go get food..." "...wana go watch a movie?..." "...shit, the movie doesn't start for another 2 hours. let's go get a beer?..." "...i can't drink this shite. let's go for a walk around those english gardens..." "...look at all those kids with their toboggans - how cute..." "...it's too early to go to sleep yet. du wana have a drink at the bar downstairs first?..." "...HICCup..." "...hi, mind if i join you? my friends have taken off on me...my name's dean by the way..." "...see you tomorrow morning, nice and early! i think it takes about 2 hours to get to the castle..." "...this...is...stunning..." "...another hill! you're killing me! this castle better be worth it..." "...i know it says 'no entry' but it'll be so much quicker if we go this way!..." "...i'll go if you go..." "...i'll go if you go..." "...let's go then..." "...reckon this bridge is safe to walk across?..." "...here dean, you can use my camera to take photos if you're having withdrawals now that you don't have your camera anymore..." "...wait let's find out what time the train leaves for karlsruhe while we're here...what?? there's a special on the nightrain to berlin? berlin it is then!..." "...bye dean! it was nice meeting you. no probs, i'll send you those photos as soon as i upload them. happy trails! goodbye..." "...did you manage to get any sleep on the train?..." "...do you wana know where we were this time last week?..." "...i'm so tired! can't wait to just crash! let's hope there's beds at this hostel..." "...i'm guna go find the supermarket..." "...ok, i'm guna crash..." "...mm canned spaghetti...times really are tough these days aren't they?..." "...we've pretty much been everywhere. now we've just got amsterdam, britain, spain, portugal, morocco and egypt left and then fran goes home and i meet my parents in greece for a month..." "...time for another vodka and redbull?..." "...so much for having an early night. i'm glad we had this chat though..." "...hi! i'm the bootman!..." "...oh come oooon! get up there and sing!..." "...we'll definitely be doing that tour tomorrow morning if you wana join us..." "...an 8 hour tour..." "...i'm so hungover..." "...and here's checkpoint charlie...does anyone know why it's called checkpoint charlie and what happened here that makes it famous?..." "...i wana have a look at those bears that michelle was telling me about...what do you mean they've been removed!!..." "...oh here's the pink floyd graphics. we walked straight past it before..." "...i'm frozen...no wonder...look! there's ice covering that river!..." "...well, if it's cheaper for me to come to karlsruhe instead of hamburg i might as well do that. it'll be good to catch up with daniel again..." "...hi there! i'm your new roommate. er, what do i do for a living? i'm a soldier..." "...oh...you're a soldier? still though, you're pretty cool for an american soldier. come have a drink with us later. we'll be going to the bar downstairs..." "...woooooo duuuuuuuuude! i'm still so stooooned!..." "...oh shit! we got off at the wrong station! ruuuuuun! we have to get across to the other platform before the next train gets here otherwise we'll miss the connection! quick! we've only got 2mins! oh shit, we're screwed if we miss this train!..." "...load up. we gotta get off at the next stop to catch the next connection..." "...hey danielsan! good to see you again. have you been waiting long? you didn't have to go out of your way. we would've found your place on our own..." "...you'll never guess what happened. we got off at the wrong stop. why do all the stations here have the same name!!?..." "...yeah we're starving! a uni cafe? let's go..." "...um, yeah we made it to heidelberg. er, no, we didn't make it to the castle. we went shopping instead..." "...there's something wrong. i was throwing up all night. i think it was that pasta we made last night...pasta danielsan, not noodles. it's called pasta..." "...what do you think of these birkenstocks? yeah i know that they don't match but they're pretty cool. whadayamean you won't be seen walking down the street with me in these shoes!!...i'm buying them anyway..." "...we don't mind washing the dishes danielsan..." "...come on danielsan! you have to a drink with us! it's the last time we're guna see you!..." "...crap! we've only got 35mins to get back to daniels and grab our stuff then go to the station! ruuuun!..." "...relax. i've never missed a train. you'll make it..." "...i can't believe the trains running late after all that!..." "...goodbye danielsan. thanks for everything. hope we meet again. goodbye..." "...this is so weird...i can't get over how you can just walk into a shop and buy dope and mushrooms..." "...i think we've walked past it. surely it's not this far...it's starting to rain too! scus me, can you tell us where the anne frank house is?..." "...look at all the prostitues in the windows...they're so young!..." "...i think we're due for a drink tonight. let's try that irish pub up the road.." "...we could just buy hair colour and have a girl's night in tonight..." "...if anyone opens the door now they're guna have a heartattack if they see us with the colour and the masks on!...quick! hide! someone's coming!..." "...i'm guna use the net for a while..." "...i so can't be bothered climbing those stairs again..." "...where can we go to spend the day? we'd like to see some windmills..." "...this place is stunning! what a cute village! there's a cheese factory too. mm mmm!..." "...and that is how you make a pair of clogs..." "...why you australians are hitting the lebanese people in australia?..." "...get in, i'll give you a lift. the brewery is a bit far to walk..." "...this is disgusting. i'm guna give these tokens to someone that appreciates beer..." "...du wana go back to that irish pub for a drink before we go home?..." ...ok, what's the first thing you think of when i say hungary?...what about austria?...france? italy?..." "...guess where we were this time last week..." "...please be careful of your valuables while you're having a drink. there are pickpockets in here tonight..." "...em! shut up!..." "...i can't HICC...help it!..." "...we really need to do some washing. both my jeans are feral. we'll take our backpack with us and put everything in as soon as it's washed. i'm guna hang out in my jacket so i can wash both jeans..." "...i can't find any cheap flights to edinburgh. we might have to go to london first and then work our way up. we'll go and ask at eurolines tomorrow..." "...oh shit! i forgot my passport back at the hostel. i'll go back and get it and i'll meet you back here in 5..." "...fran? is that the london eye? THE london eye? does that mean we're in london now??..." "...can you believe how narrow the tube is!..." "...noone's answering the door. the receptionist is probably sleeping..." "...we're so screwed if there's no beds free..." "...it's bloody freezing here!..." "...have you seen the showers here? the door is made of see-thru glass..." "...i'll give troy a call now to see when we'll meet up with him..." "...let's go check out that joint. we can have a quiet drink before we walk home again..." "...are you maltese? i thought so!..." "...look! home&away is on tv! damn i miss home!..." "...hi troy! how's things? what do you guys wana do tonight?..." "...we can start off at this pub and then go to the walkabout for another drink..." "...is this what the famous walkabout is all about? i'm so bored!..." "...should we walk home or tube it?..." "...let's walk..." "...um, i think we're going the wrong way. surely we should be there by now. let's ask for directions cos i'm freezing...scus me, which way to king's cross?..." "...you're guna walk to king's cross??? that's miles away! it'll take you at least half an hour to walk there! you're better off catching the tube..." "...im guna catch up with my friend gail on australia day. i think she wants to go to one of the walkabout pubs. wana come?..." "...uh, no. i'll pass..." "...how was it?..." "...crap..." "...i thought so..." "...let's catch one of those red busses today otherwise we're just guna end stopping at all the shops and we won't get to see anything again..." "...phil's funny isn't he? a bit dopey, but he's alright...those other dickheads that were in the room last night though. did you see how much noise they were making this morning?..." "...oh look! a memorial to animals that fought in the war. how cute!..." "...jeezus! why did we agree to let those two take our photo. we'll never get rid of them now..." "...there's hyde park! i have to find the diana memorial and take a photo of it for my mum..." "...i'll wait here, i can't be bothered coming to that palace, whatever it's called..." "...there's harrods! shopping!!..." "...shit, we're guna be late. i told felis we'd meet her at 9 and we're still at the other end of town..." "...em, where's your shopping??..." "...oh shit! i forgot it again! wait here, i'll run back and grab it! hopefully it's still there!..." "...there is a god! i've been craving noodles for months now! mm mmmmm..." "...it was great to catch up with you again after 10 years felis! see you back in oz in a few months! goodbye for now!..." "...picadilly circus is a roundabout??? why don't they just call the damn thing a roundabout then??..." "...tate gallery? where is it? yeah, i've finished from the dali museum. i'll head over there now. see you soon..." "...let's go check out this millenium bridge. what's that all about anyway? whatever. all i know is that it's freezing cold and i wana go home. i bet it's warm in melbourne right now. you know, as much as this travelling business has been a great eye opener and all that, home is always home at the end of the day, isn't it?..." "...happy 6 month anniversary! can you believe it!? SIX MONTHS! we've been away from our family and friends for A WHOLE 6 MONTHS. and they thought we wouldn't make it!..." "...westminster abbey just closed. apparently it closes at 2 today...never mind, we just saved ourselves 12pounds. sometimes you just gotta look at the positives..." "...so this is st. pauls. wait, i gotta take a photo of it for my mum...this is where princess diana got married..." "...did you manage to sneak any photos in?..." "...karaoke! no, i'm not getting up to sing! look at that dude, i think he's aussie. what a funny bastard. i'm guna film him while he's singing. at least he's doing us aussies proud..." "...yaaaae! land downunder! i said to the man are you trying to tempt me, because i come from the land of plenty..." "...we should go check out the british museum. what are those pieces of the parthenon doing in here! thieves!..." "...at least it's nice and warm in here..." "...are we in time for the free guided tour?..." "...and this is where they beheaded thomas moore..." "...thomas moore! i've heard of him! a man for all seasons, of course! we did that in literature in year 12! cheers miss keating!..." "...there's tower bridge! pretty cool bridge...nuh, there's no hope in hell that i'll be climbing to the top of that tower..." "...i really wanted to go see london bridge as well. i guess it's just a bridge though, hey?...bugger it. all i wana do right now is eat and sleep. let's go get a coffee..." "...day off today. i'm guna head to the royal courts of justice..." "...i had a good day. i went to the courts then watched a weird movie. what did you get up to?..." "...check out the taxis. they look like those cars that carry the dead people..." "...fuck, the tube's full again. we should've just walked home..." "...i guess we should go see buckingham palace today since it's our last day. we can't really put it off any longer..." "...what an ugly palace..." "...oh come ooon! how many more guards do we have to sit here and watch?? enough already. i get the point..." "...let's get out of here and go check out camden markets huh?..." "...em! shut up!..." "...i can't HIC...help it!..." "...i gota do a post. let's take our washing with us and we'll take it in turns to watch the clothes and go to the post. i think they're pretty close by..." "...these two ladies are from oz too. they're travelling together but i think they hate each other. they wana have lunch with us after we finish from the  postoffice..." "...i wonder if we'll have time to watch 'the producers' before we have to catch megabus tonight..." "...that was awesome! what a great show!..." "...oh shit, this bus is packed. how long is the trip? 10 hours!?? oh shit. guess we won't be getting much sleep tonight then..." "...the tri-nations rugby thingy is on this weekend. i hope we find accommodation..." "...do you feel like going out for a drink?..." "...fran let's go, i gota call mark in 10mins, plus i'm over this guy. he's told me his life story 4 times so far. apparently his dad was one fo the biggest bank robbers in scottish history, blah blah blah and he's making some tripped out movie about some aquatic mummies that landed on a deserted island or some crap like that. he's off his nut..." "...how awesome is edinburgh! we should've just skipped london and come straight here..." "...i'm starving. i wouldn't mind trying some of that vegetarian haggis..." "...what are you girls drinking? it's our shout. your drinking a what?? there's no way i'm guna ask for that at the bar! yeah we're from belfast. i own the citysightseeing tours there. when you get over there, here's my number, give me a call and you've got yourselves a free tour..." "...you've been travelling together for over 6 months! you must be out of things to talk about by now. what do you do when you go out? do you just sit there calling each other names all night just to have something to say to each other?..'bitch!', 'whore!' 'cow!' hahaha!!..." "...actually we hadn't thought of doing that but thanks for the suggestion! we really have run out of things to talk about so we just sit there looking at the ceiling most times..." "...the crime bar! hahaha! look how she wrote it! the crime bar. give me the paper, here i'll write it properly. it's called the crown bar, not the crime bar! hahaha! the crime bar!..." "...another drink? my shout again..." "nuh, we really shouldn't, we have to be up early in the morning. we're going on a 3 day tour to the isle of skye. yes, i know we'll get plenty of sleep when we die, but i need sleep!..." "...ok, just one more and then it's time for bed..." "...ok, just one more and then it's time for bed..." "...nice meeting you. yes, we'll call you when we get to belfast. thanks heaps. goodnight!..." "...this is one of the best tours we've done, no?..." "...loch ness!..." "...aye..." "...there's hamish the hairy coo. aye..." "...the british came and stole the land from us. aye..." "...and this is an ancient druid contemplation ground. here the druids would come and look for answers to their problems. it has mystical powers. be sure you don't take anything away from here..." "...here's the memorial to the real 'braveheart'..." "...and we'll quickly stop here at rob roys grave so you can take some photos. aye! nay problem..." "...and here's another castle..." "...and here's another castle..." "...and here's another castle..." "...enough of the castles! i refuse to take any more photos of them. i'll wait in the bus where it's warm..." "...this wind is crazy! look, it's holding me up...i'm screwed if it decides to stop now though, i'm guna go straight over the cliff..." "...yeah, i got here on a ship. it was great. i got to work with the crew and at night when i would try and sleep the ship would rock from side to side..." "...yes, it's very cold in finland..." "...andrew, get your guitar! do you know green days' 'time of your life'!?. no? what about 'live' then..." "...bye guys. it was nice meeting you. good luck with your travels. goodbye..." "...do you girls wana do a free walking tour of edinburgh?..." "...come, we gotta hurry. our bus leaves in 10mins and we still gota grab our backpacks. we should've got all our souveniers yesterday. we always leave things to the last minute! we'll never learn..." "...would you like brown bread or white? one piece of cheese or two? would you like it toasted well or not so well?..." "...um, actually, i just wana eat. i'm starving. make it whichever way it's quicker to make it..." "...should we call that guy for the bus tour and see if we can do it tomorrow?..." "...his phone's off. i wonder if we can just rock up and show them that paper where he wrote his name..." "...oh! you met alex in edinburgh?! that's great! yes, of course we'll give you the bus tour for free..." "...scus me, are you going to be much longer?..." "...no, i'm just getting my things ready. i'm in labour. i'll only be a few more minutes and then i'll go downstairs to call a taxi..." "...oh, you're pregnant?? take you time! damn! would you like me to give you a hand?..." "...i couldn't sleep last night! that chick kept moving around and making noise and when i asked her if she was guna be much longer she told me she'd gone into labour. i felt soo bad!..." "...what chick? the one sleeping on the bottom bunk under you?? she was pregnant?? hahaha! you must've felt like such a bitch for having a go at her! hahaha..." "...yeah, haha!..." "...i so want those shoes. would you spend $200 on shoes fran? do you reckon i'd get them cheaper back home?..." "...i can't believe we just watched two movies in one day. how sad are we??..." "...i really can't be bothered doing that giant's causeway thingy. wana just leave a day earlier and head to another part of ireland instead?..." "...have you seen that guy that was here last night? he offered us a lift to galway and said he'd be back in a minute cos he had to do something on his car and he hasn't come back. that was an hour ago..." "...do you guys want a lift with us instead?..." "...sweet!..." "...so folks, there's a bit of shower now folks. just a shower folks, just a shower..." "...why is it famous you might ask??...well, because it's famous folks, because it's famous..." "...how long do you think we should stay in wales for?..." "...oh you're from australia? one of my work mates is from there. he's on his way here, you'll meet him soon..." "...your from australia!!! uuuuh, the aussie accent! i miss it so much! what are you guys doing later tonight, wana come out with us?..." "...i can't see us doing our washing now. let's go buy a new top and hit the town later instead. it might help lift our mood a bit. we're due for a big night out and i'm sick of wearing the same clothes every day..." "...maybe we should stop at this pub for a drink first. i don't think the clubs open til 11 anyway..." "...you're from australia? here, i'll shout you a drink. what are you guna have?..." "...hiccups again..." "...what about this club? kaytoo or whatever it's called. one of those chicks gave me a couple of passes when i walked past before so we can get in for free and if it's crap we can always leave and go somewhere else. i think i've got a couple of other passes too..." "...that was a pretty good night hey?..." "...oh man i need sleep. that music from next door is doing my head in..." "...there's those shoes again. it's a sign. the cosmic forces are telling me to buy them..." "...there's nowhere to hang your clothes in the shower and everything gets wet. if i hang it over the door then i'm constantly worried that someone's guna walk up and pinch my stuff. and it's a push-button shower again. you gotta keep pressing the button every 15seconds cos the water turns off. em, i just wana go home...i just want a proper shower without my clothes getting wet, without having to press a button for the water to come out, without worrying that my stuff is guna get pinched! i just wana go hoooome..." "...ooh my goodness, this has to be the worst hostel in the world. i'm busting to go for pee pee but there's no freakin way in hell that i'll be using that toilet. it smells worse than the train stations in paris. i reckon it hasn't been cleaned since the hostel first opened. i'll probably catch some exotic irish disease if i use it. screw that..." "...my eye's twitching again..." "...one of those guys we were talking to last night was found dead in his bed this morning. those guys are all cops. they're here to investigate what happened. can you believe it?..." "...this place is so festy. i'm taking my toothbrush with me. i'm guna go brush my teeth at maccers. i can't go into those toilets, i'm guna throw up..." "...wana watch a movie to fill in the time before we go to the airport?..." "...you can use the computer here to look for flights to morocco..." "...we've got a week to spare. why don't we go back to paris for a few days before we go to portugal?..." "...what the hell is that tapping noise? it sounds like a horse galloping around. it's driving me crazy! there's no way i'll be able to sleep. it's so freakin loud. it sounds like it's coming from the heater..." "...AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! em! oh my god, you scared the shit out of me! give the mask to me, i don't trust you. you'll probably come up to me in the middle of the night and scare me again..." "...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh that was soooooooooooo fuckin funny!! you should've seen the look on your face!! no way, i'm not giving you the mask. you're guna try and get me back for that. i don't trust you either! hahahahaha! that was the funniest thing that's happened in the last 6 months!..." "...yeah, funny for you maybe..." "...so? have we decided about paris yet? are we definitely going back?..." "...we've only got portugal, spain, morocco and egypt left, then we go to turkey for anzac day and then fran goes home and i meet my parents in greece for a month before i go home too..." "...i don't know yet, probably some time mid june - so can't wait..." "...let's go book our bus to paris straight away to make sure we're outta here on the 9pm bus. if we have to stay in london for even one night again i'm guna scream..." "...can't wait to get to warmer weather!..." "...my eye hasn't stopped twitching for the last couple of weeks. it means i'm guna see someone i haven't seen for ages, and now guess what? jacs just sent me a message to say she's booked her tickets. she's meeting us in egypt! can you believe it!? she's finally gona do it! after all the times she's said it, she's finally guna do it!! i so can't wait, you don't understand!..." "...em, you know how your eye's been twitching? mine started today too..." "...it's snowing outside. hope it stops before we have to leave..." "...i can't believe we're in paris again!..." "...let's stop for a coffee. i'm frozen. we'll look for a hostel again when we've warmed up a bit..." "...you'll have to split up for the night. i have 2 beds but they're in seperate rooms and they won't be ready til this afternoon. you can use one of the rooms to have a shower now if you want though and you can leave your bags in the storage room..." "...maybe we should take it in turns to have a shower in case someone comes in? the doors are see-thru..." "...wana go to the louvre today? we didn't really see much of it last time we were here..." "...you'll have to change rooms again in the morning. you'll be in separate rooms again for the night..." "...i was really looking forward to a sleep-in this morning. now we have to check out again and move our stuff to another room..." "...st chappelle was a bit of a let down, wasn't it?..." "...nuh, i can't be bothered going to the picasso museum. i'll go check out the catacombs instead and then we can meet up again for dinner..." "...let's go back to that falafel joint where we used to go last time we were here. for old time's sake..." "...i'm guna go to the sacrecuer while we're here. i'll meet you back down when i'm done..." "...that irish pub we went to last time is just around the corner. let's go for a drink there. for old time's sake..." "...i've gotta do a post and then call jacs..." "...have we figured out how the hell we're getting to portugal from here?..." "...nice meeting you! if you're ever in australia, here's my email address. happy trails! goodbye..." "...let's just catch the bus to eurolines and ask there if we can get a eurolines bus from here to portugal. surely we should be able to..." "...shit, i forgot to pay for the room last night!..." "...our bus leaves at 12.30 doesn't it? what time is it now???...whadayamean it's 12.30!! ruuuuun!!!!!!!!" "...i'll help you find your bus. follow me...here, this lady is going the same way as you. she'll look after you...goodluck!..." "...thank you! thank you! mwah!..." "...look, the sun is shining! can you believe it!! i can't even reemeber the last time i saw the sun!..." "...when sonia said that portugal was old, i didn't realise she meant old old..." "...this place is so cool. i love it here! it's got such an amazing vibe!..." "...oh man, i can't believe we have to climb that hill to get to the main part of town. this is killing me!..." "...water, give me water! i think i'm dying. you'd think we'd be used to this by now!..." "...maybe next time we should catch the fernicular. it's there for a reason you know. no, i'm not being lazy!. ok, maybe i kinda am. but come oooon, it's a ballbreaker of a hill! .." "...that...was...the best...dessert...ever!..." "...i can't believe it's guna rain today! noooooooo!!!..." "...that's pretty cool. i'm guna take a photo of it. um...what the hell is it? oh, it's a big vodafone guitar! haha! i think i'll bring my glasses with me next time..." "...this rain is crap. and there's no window wipers on this bus. how are we spos to see anything?..." "...i'm from belgium. i bet you've got some good stories to tell if you've been travelling for so long..." "...i had to sleep under a bridge one night to save on accommodation. it was a little bit freaky but that's where all the fun is..." "...sintra's nice..." "...em, i've only got 8 weeks left! i'm so nervous about going home! i really don't want this to end now..." "...68euro! not 16!! uh no that's out of our price range by about 60euro. do you mind if we use your phone to call another place that's close by? thank you so much!..." "...maybe we should check out that market that receptionist was telling us about while they get our room ready. there's no point in hanging out here til 2..." "...en uro! en uro!..." "...it's already midnight. i can't see us going out now. let's just go back to sleep..." "...i like her shoes...i wonder where she got them from..." "...i can't believe how hard it is to find vegie food here!..." "...hi there. how would you like to come on a tour to the white villages tomorrow. i promise you you won't be disappointed. ok, i'll give you 5mins to think about it while you eat and i'll come back..." "...i can't believe we're at a flamenco show, sipping sangria, in spain!..." "...these villages are amazing. i'm so glad we decided to do this tour!..." "...that was the worst bus ride. i couldn't get comfortable. i thought it was never guna end..." "...let's watch the fireworks in the town square and then go to that italian restaurant the receptionist told us about..." "...have you got the map or have i got it?..." "...em, there's a hair academy. didn't you say you wanted to cut your hair. it might be cheaper to get it done there..." "...you know this time last month we were in edinburgh freezing our butts off...can you believe that was only a month ago!?..." "...who's got the phone charger and camera charger. my batteries are dead..." "...i've still gotta pack my backpack. i couldn't be bothered doing it last night..." "...have we got everything? did you check under the bed...ok, load up, time to go again..." "...wait here if you want. i'll go upstairs and ask if there's any rooms available..." "...i bargained him down a bit and the room is pretty good. i told him we'd take it..." "...let's check out the travelbar across the road. we can have a couple of quiet drinks there. it looks pretty good and it's within stumbling distance..." "...hello! come have a drink with us!!!!..." "...i need food and water. i'm dehydrated..." ...this salad is the best. it's cured my hangover!..." "...let's check out that shopping centre at the end of the pier. we might find shoes..." "...i need to get off this bus. i'm frozen. maybe we can get up early and do the rest of the tour tomorrow?..." "...la familia is a bit of a let down. we should've just had a look from the outside..." "...this park is unreal..." "...so that's the famous goanna?..." "...i don't think this is the right stop. we should've got off about 3 stops from here. we're miles away from home!..." "...it took me ages to find the right train station and it was about 2 hours from here but it was good. dali was a freakin genius. anyway, what did you get up to today?..." "...travelbar again? we have to celebrate our last night in europe..." "...this dude's from norway..." "...HIC..." "...yeah, let's go to a club after here!..." "...i've gotta do a post again. my bags gotten heavy. and i think i'm guna dump this wooly mammoth jacket here too. don't think we'll be needing it any more...goodbye wooly mammoth jacket. you've been good to us. thanks for keeping us warm..." "...let's take a photo in the post office so we remember all the times we've posted things home..." "...i have to send everything in this massive box! my parents are guna freak when they receive it. they'll think i've posted myself home!!..." "...i can't believe europe's over and done with...we're almost going home fran. i'm so sad. i'd give anything to stop time right now..." "...goodbye barcelona! goodbye europe!..."

 

END OF ACT II

"...something happened on this flight. i fly from barcelona to cairo very often and we've never had to leave the plane before. i don't know what they were looking for. anyway, if you need anything while you're in cairo here's my number..." "...their driving is worse here than morocco! we're guna die!..." "...this hotel is no good. why you stay here? no good for 2 girls this area. i know good hotel..." "...i'm so tired. i'm just guna put all that washing that's still wet on the bed and then i'm crashing..." "...i was attacked by mozzies last night. i hardly slept at all. look at all the bite marks on my face and my neck. the bastards! even with my head under the blankets i could still hear them! bastards!..." "...i can't get away from bob marley. they play it everywhere! it's a sign. i have to go back to morocco..." "...is this breakfast? this is what we got out of bed early for??..." "...i'm so nervous about going back home. i have no idea what to expect when i get back. this has become our life now, i just can't imagine what it's like to not live out of a backpack and not have to spend a whole day looking for a laundromat or a postoffice. it's guna be so weird to have a whole heap of clothes to choose from, or to drive a car. i can't believe a while ago we couldn't wait for this to be over. now i'd give anything to keep travelling..." "...life is so different here. if someone tried to tell me that people actually live like this, i wouldn't have believed them before. but now that i've seen it with my own eyes..." "...jacs just called me. i can't believe we're in the same town! in the same city! in the same country! i can't believe i'm guna see her tomorrow!..." "...my phone's died for good now. i can't turn the stupid thing on..." "...beeeeeep! beep! beeeeeeeeeep! beep! beeeeeeeeeep! beep! beeeeeeeeeep! beep! beeeeeeeeeeep! beeeeeeeeeep! beep! beep! beep!..." "...i've never seen such chaos in my entire life! and those horns are doing my head in!..." "...how the hell are we spos to cross the road here?? they drive like freakin maniacs!..." "...are you emy? i am jackie's aunty. come with me, she is waiting for you..." "...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! there she is!!!! aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! oh my god i can't believe you're here!!!!!!!!!..." "...shhh ems everyone's looking girl!..." "...no, no, i no want this money! it's sixt pounds!..." "...she said her aunty's house is only half an hour away. i think this driver's lost..." "...you stay in taxi, i go ask if it's the right house..." "...the bus to aswan is booked for tonight. we have to stay here tonight and catch the first bus in the morning..." "...bob marley again. it's a sign. definitely a sign..." "...car is not allowed in pyramids. road is closed. i have camel and horses and donkey. you can hire from me. i make special price for you..." "...these camels are guna collapse soon. they're so malnourished. and the poor bastards have to carry us on their backs..." "...now my job is finished. you give me baksheeesh!..." "...look behind you! the pyramids are changing colour! that looks amazing!..." "...why are those guys selling feather dusters at the traffic lights??..." "...that guy's lying on the ground with blood coming out of his head. he's fallen of the horse!..." "...is that a buffalo in the farm?..." "...no problem, car stop all the time. i know how to fix. no problem..." "...koshery sounds good, we're starving, we haven't eaten all day!..." "...i can't sleep. it's so hot in here..." "...i can't sleep either. what time is it?..." "...ems, stop talking to yourself! go back to sleep. it's only 4am!..." "...aaaaalllllllllaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!..." "...about time! it must be about 5am now if he's started praying. we'll get up and get ready soon..." "...taxi? taxi? taxi!..." "...la, shukran..." "...accommodation? accommodation? accommodation!..." "...la, shukran..." "...please just come look at my hotel. if you don't like, you don't have to stay. it's only 2 english minutes away..." "...are you interested in doing a tour tomorrow? we have good tours here!..." "...we just did a 13hour train ride dude. we're hungry and we're tired. can we maybe eat first, and maybe even sleep, before we start talking about tours?..." "...here's a koshery restaurant. let's stop here and get something quick to eat. i'm too tired to stay long..." "...um, it's already 2am. let's head home and get some sleep..." "...there's the emy restaurant! i've gotta take a photo in front of it!..." "...yeah, why don't we do a fellucca ride down the nile! nice day for it. i wish i knew though so i could bring my camera!..." "...i'll give you 200pounds for the memory card. no, i'm not paying more than that. i can get it for that much back home! don't worry about it, i'll buy it from someone else..." "...those birds sound like donald duck! how funny is that??..." "...that guard's got a machine gun hanging off his shoulder! what the?? we're in the botanical gardens! let's see if he'll let us take his photo..." "...welcome to my village. i am the chief here. welcome..." "...baksheeesh??!..." "...row row row your boat! baksheeeesh!..." "...let's check out that cafe up there. they might have shishas! and banana and strawberry thickshakes!..." "...it's too hot to wear long sleeves. bugger that! let them talk!..." "...there's so many flies here! you can't get away from them! the bastards! they're in our food!..." "...what a cool place this is! there's an internet cafe here as well. maybe i can burn my photos later..." "...i reckon we probably won't find it any cheaper. let's just book it thru the hotel and we'll tell them we'll only pay 40 pounds..." "...i can't believe we have to be up at 2.30am. this temple better be worth it!..." "...where's everyone spos to sit? there's no room left on the bus!..." "...it's so hot already! no wonder we had to leave at 3am. imagine we got here any later..." "...look how massive those things are! how the hell did they build them back then with just their hands??..." "...look at the hiroglyphics! now i know i'm in egypt..." "...ems, stand over there with fran so i can take a photo..." "...ok, just one more photo..." "...how the hell are we spos to find our van? there's millions of them here and they all look the same!..." "...oh dear god, i think we're guna die. our driver's about to fall asleep behind the wheel..." "...everyone tries to rip you off here! i'm so sick of it! as soon as they see tourists they start haggling. you can't go anywhere without giving baksheesh! i'm so sick of this!..." "...bloody americans!..." "...aaaahhh! my koshery! it's gone everywhere!..." "...oh shit, i'm so sorry! i can't believe my backpack fell on your food! here i'll help you clean it up..." "...bloody americans!..." "...hello! i have hotel in town! cheap very cheap! you come with me and look!..." "...no, no, my hotel is better! i have bob marley bar! you come look!..." "...no my hotel is better! i give you good price!..." "...you have bewdaful ayes!..." "...i never go to school. i clean hotels from 7 years old. 5pounds one day boss pay me. look at this! what it says in english? you want koshery?? i will ask boss to buy koshery, you no pay tourist price 5 pounds, you pay egyptian price 1 pound! shh, you no tell boss, i talk to boss he get you koshery..." "...we'll come on the tour but we're not paying more than 45pounds. we know that's what other hotels charge so if you can do it for 45 we'll come with you..." "...madam, baksheesh please. madam please! baksheesh!..." "...la baksheesh! here take these chips and go..." "...my scottish name is michael, egyptian mohammed. you come with me to my sisters house for tea. please?..." "...baksheeeeesh?..." "...i kinda like that papyrus. i might buy a couple..." "...no, this is the best price..." "...ok, we'll go buy it somewhere else..." "...ok ok, you very hard woman. i give you special price because you have bewdaful ayes..." "...bye michael, thanks for everything..." "...bob marley bar is no good. he tells everyone that he has nice bar but it's not nice. nobody goes there..." "...you want to take the slow boat or the fast boat. ok, you give me 5pounds each and we go with fast boat..." "...aaahhhh! my donkey's crossing the road! i can't stop him! aaaaaahhhhh! there's a car heading for me! make the donkey stooooop!!!..." "...hahahahahahahahahaha! oh you should've seen the look on your face! i can't believe your donkey ran away! you nearly collided with a breadcart! oh shit that was sooooooo funny! how would i explain that to your parents if you ended up in hospital??!..." "...em don't laugh! it's not funny! i can't believe my donkey ran away! i couldn't stop him!..." "...ok we get off the donkeys here and we walk thru this part. it's too dangerous because we go near the edge of the cliff..." "...come on donkey! move! donkey you're not moving! move!..." "...it's so hot! i'm dying..." "...there's not one blade of grass anywhere. i'm guna get so sunburnt..." "...water...i need water. i'm dying. how much further is the valley of the kings!?..." "...the valley is very far. we can go, no problem for me, but maybe you want stop for cold drink instead? i know a good cafe down the bottom there..." "...bugger the valley! let's go get a cold drink instead..." "...i'll have another beer..." "...another beer please!..." "...yes, yes, very bad how they hassle tourists all the time. typical egyptians. i'm not like that though. i run my business different..." "...food at your hotel is not very good. nobody likes to eat there..." "...i don't want him to help me get back up on the donkey. he's drunk. i'll get up on my own. oh shit! i buckled the poor thing. sorry donkey!..." "...very very fun! very very fun!..." "...um, jacs, what are you doing down there?..." "...i told my donkey to turn and he wouldn't. ouch, i think i scrapped my arm..." "...she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes! she'll be riding 3 white donkeys when she comes! make them go faster! this is so much fun!!!!!..." "...ahhhh, i'm falling! donkey, slow down! slow down donkey! aaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!! ouch..." "...no, really i'm ok. no i didn't break anything, i'm ok. really..." "...you want orange juice?..." "...baksheesh? why you no give me baksheesh? the tour was very good, you tell me you enjoyed it. why you no give me baksheesh now?..." "...he a poofter! a bloody poofter!..." "...thank you for telling us what he was saying. can you call him and get him to come to the hotel? he borrowed money from us and he won't give it back for long time. ask him to come here..." "...you come back in ten one months and visit me? you very nice lady. please come back soon!..." "...aaaarggggggh! shut uuuuuuup!!!!!!! stop talking for a minute! we've got a hotel already we don't need accommodation!!..." "...is ok if i smoke some hashish? you like some hashish? very good hashish..." "...you from where? oww, australia!! you have bewdaful ayes! welcome! aussie aussie!..." "...you try all the perfumes, no problem. i tell you egyptian joke?..." "...we go out tonight with my friends? i give you mobile number you call me..." "...hey! australia, you walking the wrong way! this way you come!..." "...yo! nice bobs man!..." "...i never forget the first words you speak to me...no...waaaay!..." "...yo homeboy! wassup? what's news?..." "...i want to change egypt. i don't want this country to stay like this forever. this fuckin government is bullshit man..." "...i wait for you all day at the other hotel your friend tell me you stay at. all day. i no sleep all night because i was working, and all day i wait and wait but is wrong hotel. look how tired my eyes are. now i must go to work again at the club. you will come tonight? i want to see you again..." "...do you really have to leave tomorrow? if you stay we get married and you live with me..." "...i'm guna be sick. please just make it stop! this is the worst ferry i've ever been on! that poor lady hasn't stopped throwing up the whole way! everyone else is starting to throw up too..." "...you girls go with the taxi and i'll go on the bus. i'll see you in dahab..." "...shit he can't start the taxi...puuuush..." "...i can't believe we're stuck in the middle of the desert..." "...check out the locks and the windows! they're going balistic! i can't believe this old things even got electrics!..." "...i'll message jacs and get her to send someone to pick us up or we're guna be here forever..." "...beep beep...ems they're on their way from the hotel. someone will be there to pick you guys up soon..." "...this place is so cool! how chilled out is it!?..." "...i'm ready for food and then sleep. we'll have something quick and then we'll go find a place to stay..." "...yeah, we'll take it. 10pounds you said, right?..." "...jacs, this place is amazing. now i know what you were going on about all those times!..." "...here's some water to spray the cats with..." "...tomorrow there is a full moon party at the black prince. everyone will be there. it'll be a great night. you're welcome to come if you want..." "...are you going to the full moon party tomorrow night?..." "...full moon party tomorrow night!..." "...i'll pick you up at 10 and we'll walk there together..." "...he just bought us a whole bottle of vodka. what the hell are we spos to do with a whole bottle!?..." "...no baby, i really love you baby. come on habiba why you no believe me?..." "...what an amazing place! i can't believe we're sitting here by the red sea, looking at saudi arabia, while drinking strawberry and banana juice, in egypt! the 3 of us! who would've thought!..." "...oh...my...goodness! look at the size of those meals!..." "...is that a donkey? oops! it's the immamm. he sounded like a donkey! no really! i thought it was a donkey at first!..." "...no no is not same quality. you look at this quality. is same as other one? no!..." "...aussie aussie!..." "...i give you special price..." "...come on girls wake up! come oooon! it's already 2 o'clock!..." "...all you girls wana do is sleep and shop! i think i chose the wrong travel partners!...we're in dahab for god's sake, you can't spend the whole day sleeping!..." "...aussie aussie!..." "...aaaaahhhhhhhhhh shut up jacs! let us sleep!..." "...ems can you straighten my hair?..." "...hey aussie aussie!..." "...let's go to tota's for a drink tonight. the boys will be there too..." "...what kind of a taxi is this? it's a freakin ute!..." "...ok, this is a weird party! look at all the bedouin men dancing around in their dresses!..." "...aussie aussie!..." "...i'm busting for pee pee. i can't see a toilet. bring some paper and we'll go for a walk. look, there's a wall. that'll do!..." "...fran, there's a dog watching you pee..." "...aussie aussie!..." "...nuh, i can't be bothered coming to the blue hole. i'll go to the internet cafe and look for some cheap flights to turkey while you girls are out and when you get back we can go to tota's again for a drink..." "...aussie aussie!..." "...i'm hungry again. which cafe do we try this time?..." "...i'm hangry too..." "...hungry or angry?..." "...yes, hangry..." "...what the hell is hangry? angry or hungry??..." "...come on habiba, why don't you stay here? i love you habiba. stay here with me..." "...i know you will come back. i wait for you. i know you come back for sure because they say if you come to dahab one time you will always come back. i wait for you habiba..." "...let's go to tota's for the last time. just remember we have to be at the bus station by 9..." "...we're cabbing it yeah? there's one now. oh i've gotta take a photo of this. this is so bizzare. imagine rocking up to retro in the trailer of a ute!..." "...we still have to organise our tickets to istanbul. maybe that chick i met on the plane can help us..." "...he was spos to be here hours ago. we can't wait much longer. we're so screwed if this doesn't come thru. the plane leaves in a few hours and we still need to go pick out those perfumes..." "...about bloody time! he's finally here..." "...i'll have 4 of these and 2 of these and 3 of these..." "...bye josie! yes, i promise i'll look after her. yes, i promise i'll remind her to message you every few days. don't stress. have a good trip home and we'll see you in oz in a couple of months! bye now!..." "...i need to throw up!..." "...wow, that's some way to let turkey know that you've arrived!..." "...let's go get something to eat across the road and then we'll come back and see if fran's feeling any better..." "...turkey's not as cheap as i expected it to be..." "...everyone's so friendly here!..." "...you put this scarf over your hair and your shoes in this bag before you go into mosque..." "...this feels surreal. it's so calm and peaceful in here. everything looks fuzzy. i feel like lying down on the carpet and going to sleep..." "...can you smell foot odor or is it just me..." "...nuh, it's probably my socks, i haven't changed them for about 6 days now..." "...ow! jacs man, you're feral!..." "...it's not my fault! i've run out of clean socks, we haven't done washing for a week!..." "...i'm guna head home, i still feel sick..." "...du wana check out that bellydancing show that's on in the basement tonight? we can go for a couple of quick drinks..." "...i'm having the best time! let's take over the dj booth!..." "...i said to the man are you trying to tempt me, because i come from the land of plenty?..." "...please don't say you're sorry! i don't wana hear, i don't wana know da ta ta da da da!..." "...this is unreal! check out those two girls dancing like spastics!..." "...is this what the grand bazar's all about? i'm not really that impressed. i was kinda expecting more harrassment and more carpets. maybe we're in the wrong area?..." "...it's not very turkish here is it? you hardly hear any turkish music playing. i was expecting it to be more traditional..." "...you come to my brother's shop. he has travel agency, he make good price for capadoccia..." "...i have 2 religions - i am catholic by day, and alcoholic by night..." "...let's just book it from that first place we went to. i can't be bothered stuffing around all day..." "...where are you from? australia! welcome! aussie aussie!..." "...you're from egypt too! aaaahhh! oh i so miss that place! i was living there for a year! oh i'm so excited that i met another egyptian!..." "...apple tea!!!!! mm mmmm! love it! i'm guna stock up on this stuff! i'm guna buy enough to last me til next time i come to turkey!..." "...let's go back to the basement bar for a couple of quiet ones..." "...it's 4am - what time do we have to be up in the morning? 6am!!!!! it's probably not even worth going to bed now!..." "...ooooouch! who the hell put that window there! it was a door only a minute ago! i tried to walk thru it! ooooouch! there's a freakin lump on my head! bastard!..." "...these busses are pretty flash aren't they? they smell pretty good too. go turkey!...." "...would you like something to drink? have some tea. HAVE SOME TEA!..." "...scus me lady! no no no!..." "...did he just scrub the seat where i had my foot up? weird!!..." "...phone? your phone on? who's phone on???! which people has phone on?..." "...oh man i'm busting. all that bloody tea on the bus! and i didn't even want it!...i need toilet baaad!..." "...whadayamean we have to swap busses and wait for the other people?? i...need...toilet...NOW!..." "...i'll hold, i can't use those toilets. they're putrid, the smell is burning my nose. you're brave. i'll wait outside..." "...nooooooo! my camera broke! what the hell! i was just using it!..." "...look at this amazing landscape. i've never seen anything like it before!..." "...check out the fairy chimneys!..." "...i can't believe how hard it is to find a good turkish kebab in turkey..." "...i told you to go veg jacs..." "...i still haven't seen a decent moustache. i'm so disappointed..." "...are those pistols? they're pistols! i can't believe they sell pistols in a market! i gotta take a photo!..." "...this coffee is disgusting. i asked for coffee with milk and they gave me turkish coffee with milk in it. that taste even worse than plain turkish coffee. think i'll just stick to apple tea next time..." "...where you from? australia! welcome! aussie aussie!..." "...ok, we will be leaving from anzac house at 7.45am to take the ferry across to eceabat..." "...are you anzac? welcome to turkey!..." "...hello to our visitors, my name is gazi and i'll be your tour guide for the day..." "...some people have asked me to give you time to go down to the water at anzac cove so we'll meet back here in 20mins. please don't be late because we have many things to see today..." "...and here is another cemetary with many young boys lying under the gravestones. take your time, look around and i'll explain more about it on the bus..." "...they're setting up for tonight. when you return here tonight you'll be taken thru a security checkpoint where they will search your bags..." "...these guys offered us a seat on their mat. it's nice and close here..." "...it's so cold! my lips are going numb!..." "...is that an egg? it looks like a fried egg? what the hell's an egg doing on the anzac emblem? oh, it's a flower? it still looks like an egg to me..." "...i'm shivering. i can't get warm. i can't believe there's people here in shorts! what the hell were they thinking??..." "...beep beep emy news just in terrorist attack in seaside resort dahab bomb killed 100 people news still coming in. it missed you by days. be careful, dad..." "...oh no! no no no! jacs, read this. i just checked my phone and there was a message from my dad. there's gota be some mistake!..." "...i can't believe this! how can they bomb dahab! i need to find out more! maybe there's been some mistake!..." "...can everybody please stand up and move forward to make space for the late comers. the dawn service will be starting very soon..." "...did you find out anything more? has your cousin messaged you? does she know what happened? where were the bombs? how many? who was hurt? oh god, i hope it wasn't anyone we know! why!??? why dahab?..." "...i can't do this. let's go back to the hotel and make some calls. i need to find out what happened..." "...we'll hitch a ride. here, this guy will take us for 3lira. let's get in..." "...let's have a look what it says on the net. there might be some info on there..." "...you can go back to the room you were in last night to get some sleep. you look very tired..." "...there are many kurds in turkey..." "...do you want to eat bbq tonight? what will you have? chicken? fish? vegetarian? yes we make vegetarian..." "...do you feel like going out after the bbq? we can go for a couple of quiet ones..." "...i'm guna give tonight a miss. i'm tired and we gotta be up early to go to pammukale..." "...what time did ibo and sezgin say they were guna meet us at jimmy's?..." "...happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you!..." "...happy 9 month anniversary my nomad sister! we made it!..." "...i can't believe you're going home tomorrow fran. i can't believe this has all come to an end. it's been real maude. thanks for everything..." "...is that a guy or a girl?..." "...come up and dance on the table with me..." "...time for another drink?..." "...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend! oh shit, i can't believe i'm crying. have a great trip tomorrow fran and message me as soon as you arrive in oz! i can't believe this is all over..." "...i'm not ready to call it a night yet. let's go for a walk down to the harbour..." "...larisa has very big jail..." "...i go get you coffee. and chocolate. what chocolate you like?..." "...we still gotta walk up that hill..." "...i can't believe it's your last day today. let's go shopping and we'll meet up with jacs later..." "...62 kilos!..." "...shh you little shit!..." "...goodbye fran! it's been real my nomad sister. see you back in oz. have a safe trip. goodbye. goodbye..."

 

END OF ACT IV

"...i can't believe she's gone jacs. it's not so much that i'm guna miss her cos i know i'll be seeing her again soon, it's that it's come to an end. it's all over. it's all over..." "...let's go out again tonight. we'll start off at one of the other bars and see if they're any good and if they're not we'll go back to jimmy's..." "...that bar is full of prostitutes. no good. why you don't come back here?..." "...jimmy's?..." "...i'm guna go have a turkish hammam. i'll meet you back at the hotel later..." "...so, how was it?..." "...oh ems, it was unreal. you would've loved it! there was this hairy turkish man massaging me and when he told me turn over i copped a slap on the ass! but apart from that it was great..." "...there's a turkish night on tonight at that place where we had lunch. we gotta go. some of the other guys are coming too..." "...this is unreal! live turkish music! listen to that beat! i've gotta get up and dance, i can't handle this any longer..." "...i know we gotta be up early to catch that ferry, but it's our last night and i'm so psyched from all that music. let's go find a bar that's open..." "...do you wana just stay up till it's time to catch the ferry. there's no point in going to sleep now..." "...jacs, hurry! get ready, we're guna be late..." "...i'm so tired. i hope we find accommodation in samos..." "...iiiiiiiiiibooooooooooooo!..." "...ibo no like me because me no beautiful. me old. but i like ibo velly much. oh iiiiiibbooooooo!..." "...i have accommodation in town. ok 10euros!..." "...he's so sleazy!..." "...i can't believe how dead everything is around here. last time i was here you couldn't move in the clubs, they were that packed!..." "...ouch! who put that step there!? i can't believe i stacked it in front of everyone. oh the shame of it all..." "...food!..." "...i've been craving this souvlaki for ages! it was worth the wait..." "...jacs, i'm not so sure that it's a good idea to hire quads man. my insurance has expired and i've seen how you drive. no offence and all..." "...free alcohol! bonus!..." "...more free alcohol! this is great! we can afford to stay here all night!..." "...why isn't anyone else dancing?..." "...poootaaaaaan!..." "...hey there's raka! let's hang out with her for a while..." "...i'm starving. let's go see if we can find food..." "...here i pay for your food. here's some money. you take!..." "...i'm getting ungry now because i'm getting hangry. i need food..." "...i'm guna use the net while you call home..." "...ems, there's something wrong with this phonecard. it won't let me call..." "...i like this idea of getting a free shotty after every meal. is this how it is everywhere in greece??..." "...wana go back to that place we were at last night? i wonder if we'll get more free alcohol?..." "...what do you mean we can't come in because we're with albanians? that's shameful! screw you and your pub!..." "...you have to leave now. there's people waiting to check in..." "...is it ok if we leave our backpacks here and pick them up when we drop the quad off tonight?..." "...this is so much fun! i wish we'd hired it the other day when we had the whole day ahead of us!..." "...aaaaaaaahhhhhhh! watch it! intersection! i can't believe you almost crashed in front of that sign! look! - i love life, i drive safely..." "...how nice is this place? it reminds me a bit of dahab!..." "...it's freezing on this quad! can you imagine how cold it's guna be after the sun goes down?..." "...jacs, i'm guna tie your hair up, i keep getting whip lashed..." "...let's have a drink while we wait for the sunset..." "...how beautiful!. look at the colours! it's stunning!..." "...oh shit we're running so late. that poor guy said he'd wait for us to get back before he closes his shop. and we still have to get to the port by 10! gun it!..." "...on a dark desert highway...cool wind in my hair...warm smell...i don't know the rest ems..." "...lady!..." "...oh man, can you sing a different song? i'm sick of hearing lady lady..." "...check out the seats on this ferry! luxury!..." "...ems, why is she saying yes, no, no, yes, no, yes, yes?..." "...is this the right street? oh there's the hostel, we found it..." "...i can't believe how much we just ate! that's breakfast lunch and dinner..." "...my parents are on their way. they should be close to athens by now. let's go, i'll surprise them at the airport. i just hope we make it on time..." "...surprise!..." "...what are you doing here!?? oh my daughter, my daughter! why aren't you in santorini??? oh my goodness, what a great surprise!! i can't believe you're here! you're the last person i was expecting to see today!..." "...hahahaha! shh mum, it's ok, stop crying!..." "...ems, i found the restaurants! i just followed my nose and ended up here! look at all the restaurants ems! heaven!..." "...how many cd's you want? if you buy many i will give you good price..." "...ems, check out that man in front of that big building that looks like the acropolis! he's doing number 2's! hahaha that's so funny! oh, i've gotta take a photo!..." "...yeah, well, welcome to athens jacs..." "...i had the weirdest dream last night jacs. i couldn't sleep...i dreamt that i was in jail and they were guna kill me and they wouldn't let me call my parents and tell them!..." "...do you reckon that chick left her hairdryer out? damn! she packed it away!..." "...ems?...is that the acropolis on that mountain up there?? like, THE acropolis??..." "...i'm getting hangry again..." "...what are all those cops doing walking around in riot gear?? hello men in uniform! how you doin?!..." "...ow hello! you grik? we take photo with grik girls! i love grik!..." "...ems, i'm having a bad hair day. take that photo again. oh come oooon! i'm only going to be at the acropolis once, i can't have my hair looking like this!..." "...oh, that's shocking, take it again..." "...oh no way. it's saturday. the office is closed. i'll have to call them first thing monday to confirm my flights. let's eat..." "...jacs? what happened girl? what are you doing down there?..." "...i went to put my backpack on and i fell. it's too heavy! it's all that bloody apple tea i'm carrying for you!..." "...where are you going? you want a lift?..." "...what do you mean there's no 7pm bus?? we have to wait til 10?? aaaaahh!..." "...let's go find an internet cafe to kill some time in..." "...look! i think it's a wedding! i'm guna stay here and watch for a while, i'll meet you at the internet later..." "...ems! it's 9.45! our bus leaves in 15 and it took us 30 minutes to get here! ruuuuunnnn!..." "...vine leaf rolls for breakfast! mm mmmm!..." "...why is everyone just sitting around? i wana get up and dance!..." "...why don't we just go and play pool for a few hours?..." "...the boys won again..." "...ems, your grandmother is so cute! i wana take a photo of her. can you ask her to go stand over there? ok, great, now over there...that's great. one more. over there..." "...can we eat? i'm getting hungry again. i'm such a yourouna!..." "...hahaha! she said yourouna! she's calling herself a pig! how does she know how to speak greek. that's funny. very good! how does she know what yourouna means?..." "...shh, they'll hear us and come see what we're doing! i don't want them to catch us eating again! shh! hehehe..." "...what are you girls doing here!? you're eating again! did you leave any sarma's for us?..." "...nuh, jacs ate them all!..." "...yourouna!..." "...look at this stuff! oh man! i remember bargaining for this in italy! and for this in paris! i'd give anything to be back there right now! i so don't wana go home jacs! i could just cry now. i can't believe it's all over..." "...ems, you should go back to morocco. seriously, if you can't stop thinking about it, you should go. you're so close, how can you not!..." "...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend, you have been the one, you have been the one for me..." "...ems, seriously. go..." "...can we go to that pizza place we went to last time with fran and arthur? jacs, you're guna love this pizza! it's the best pizza in the world..." "...i can't believe you're leaving...goodbye jacs. love ya chick. have a safe trip home, live it up in dahab, have a banana and strawberry thickshake for me when you get there and i'll be seeing you again soon..." "...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend! don't start, i'm guna cry again. everytime i hear that song i feel like crying. go, your train's leaving. goodbye my girl!..." "...it's something unpredictable, but in the end is right...i hope you had the time of your life..." "...goodbye, goodbye, goodbye..."

 

END OF ACT V

 

THE END