"...something happened on this flight. i fly from barcelona to cairo very often and we've never had to leave the plane before. i don't know what they were looking for. anyway, if you need anything while you're in cairo here's my number..." "...their driving is worse here than morocco! we're guna die!..." "...this hotel is no good. why you stay here? no good for 2 girls this area. i know good hotel..." "...i'm so tired. i'm just guna put all that washing that's still wet on the bed and then i'm crashing..." "...i was attacked by mozzies last night. i hardly slept at all. look at all the bite marks on my face and my neck. the bastards! even with my head under the blankets i could still hear them! bastards!..." "...i can't get away from bob marley. they play it everywhere! it's a sign. i have to go back to morocco..." "...is this breakfast? this is what we got out of bed early for??..." "...i'm so nervous about going back home. i have no idea what to expect when i get back. this has become our life now, i just can't imagine what it's like to not live out of a backpack and not have to spend a whole day looking for a laundromat or a postoffice. it's guna be so weird to have a whole heap of clothes to choose from, or to drive a car. i can't believe a while ago we couldn't wait for this to be over. now i'd give anything to keep travelling..." "...life is so different here. if someone tried to tell me that people actually live like this, i wouldn't have believed them before. but now that i've seen it with my own eyes..." "...jacs just called me. i can't believe we're in the same town! in the same city! in the same country! i can't believe i'm guna see her tomorrow!..." "...my phone's died for good now. i can't turn the stupid thing on..." "...beeeeeep! beep! beeeeeeeeeep! beep! beeeeeeeeeep! beep! beeeeeeeeeep! beep! beeeeeeeeeeep! beeeeeeeeeep! beep! beep! beep!..." "...i've never seen such chaos in my entire life! and those horns are doing my head in!..." "...how the hell are we spos to cross the road here?? they drive like freakin maniacs!..." "...are you emy? i am jackie's aunty. come with me, she is waiting for you..." "...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! there she is!!!! aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! oh my god i can't believe you're here!!!!!!!!!..." "...shhh ems everyone's looking girl!..." "...no, no, i no want this money! it's sixt pounds!..." "...she said her aunty's house is only half an hour away. i think this driver's lost..." "...you stay in taxi, i go ask if it's the right house..." "...the bus to aswan is booked for tonight. we have to stay here tonight and catch the first bus in the morning..." "...bob marley again. it's a sign. definitely a sign..." "...car is not allowed in pyramids. road is closed. i have camel and horses and donkey. you can hire from me. i make special price for you..." "...these camels are guna collapse soon. they're so malnourished. and the poor bastards have to carry us on their backs..." "...now my job is finished. you give me baksheeesh!..." "...look behind you! the pyramids are changing colour! that looks amazing!..." "...why are those guys selling feather dusters at the traffic lights??..." "...that guy's lying on the ground with blood coming out of his head. he's fallen of the horse!..." "...is that a buffalo in the farm?..." "...no problem, car stop all the time. i know how to fix. no problem..." "...koshery sounds good, we're starving, we haven't eaten all day!..." "...i can't sleep. it's so hot in here..." "...i can't sleep either. what time is it?..." "...ems, stop talking to yourself! go back to sleep. it's only 4am!..." "...aaaaalllllllllaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!..." "...about time! it must be about 5am now if he's started praying. we'll get up and get ready soon..." "...taxi? taxi? taxi!..." "...la, shukran..." "...accommodation? accommodation? accommodation!..." "...la, shukran..." "...please just come look at my hotel. if you don't like, you don't have to stay. it's only 2 english minutes away..." "...are you interested in doing a tour tomorrow? we have good tours here!..." "...we just did a 13hour train ride dude. we're hungry and we're tired. can we maybe eat first, and maybe even sleep, before we start talking about tours?..." "...here's a koshery restaurant. let's stop here and get something quick to eat. i'm too tired to stay long..." "...um, it's already 2am. let's head home and get some sleep..." "...there's the emy restaurant! i've gotta take a photo in front of it!..." "...yeah, why don't we do a fellucca ride down the nile! nice day for it. i wish i knew though so i could bring my camera!..." "...i'll give you 200pounds for the memory card. no, i'm not paying more than that. i can get it for that much back home! don't worry about it, i'll buy it from someone else..." "...those birds sound like donald duck! how funny is that??..." "...that guard's got a machine gun hanging off his shoulder! what the?? we're in the botanical gardens! let's see if he'll let us take his photo..." "...welcome to my village. i am the chief here. welcome..." "...baksheeesh??!..." "...row row row your boat! baksheeeesh!..." "...let's check out that cafe up there. they might have shishas! and banana and strawberry thickshakes!..." "...it's too hot to wear long sleeves. bugger that! let them talk!..." "...there's so many flies here! you can't get away from them! the bastards! they're in our food!..." "...what a cool place this is! there's an internet cafe here as well. maybe i can burn my photos later..." "...i reckon we probably won't find it any cheaper. let's just book it thru the hotel and we'll tell them we'll only pay 40 pounds..." "...i can't believe we have to be up at 2.30am. this temple better be worth it!..." "...where's everyone spos to sit? there's no room left on the bus!..." "...it's so hot already! no wonder we had to leave at 3am. imagine we got here any later..." "...look how massive those things are! how the hell did they build them back then with just their hands??..." "...look at the hiroglyphics! now i know i'm in egypt..." "...ems, stand over there with fran so i can take a photo..." "...ok, just one more photo..." "...how the hell are we spos to find our van? there's millions of them here and they all look the same!..." "...oh dear god, i think we're guna die. our driver's about to fall asleep behind the wheel..." "...everyone tries to rip you off here! i'm so sick of it! as soon as they see tourists they start haggling. you can't go anywhere without giving baksheesh! i'm so sick of this!..." "...bloody americans!..." "...aaaahhh! my koshery! it's gone everywhere!..." "...oh shit, i'm so sorry! i can't believe my backpack fell on your food! here i'll help you clean it up..." "...bloody americans!..." "...hello! i have hotel in town! cheap very cheap! you come with me and look!..." "...no, no, my hotel is better! i have bob marley bar! you come look!..." "...no my hotel is better! i give you good price!..." "...you have bewdaful ayes!..." "...i never go to school. i clean hotels from 7 years old. 5pounds one day boss pay me. look at this! what it says in english? you want koshery?? i will ask boss to buy koshery, you no pay tourist price 5 pounds, you pay egyptian price 1 pound! shh, you no tell boss, i talk to boss he get you koshery..." "...we'll come on the tour but we're not paying more than 45pounds. we know that's what other hotels charge so if you can do it for 45 we'll come with you..." "...madam, baksheesh please. madam please! baksheesh!..." "...la baksheesh! here take these chips and go..." "...my scottish name is michael, egyptian mohammed. you come with me to my sisters house for tea. please?..." "...baksheeeeesh?..." "...i kinda like that papyrus. i might buy a couple..." "...no, this is the best price..." "...ok, we'll go buy it somewhere else..." "...ok ok, you very hard woman. i give you special price because you have bewdaful ayes..." "...bye michael, thanks for everything..." "...bob marley bar is no good. he tells everyone that he has nice bar but it's not nice. nobody goes there..." "...you want to take the slow boat or the fast boat. ok, you give me 5pounds each and we go with fast boat..." "...aaahhhh! my donkey's crossing the road! i can't stop him! aaaaaahhhhh! there's a car heading for me! make the donkey stooooop!!!..." "...hahahahahahahahahaha! oh you should've seen the look on your face! i can't believe your donkey ran away! you nearly collided with a breadcart! oh shit that was sooooooo funny! how would i explain that to your parents if you ended up in hospital??!..." "...em don't laugh! it's not funny! i can't believe my donkey ran away! i couldn't stop him!..." "...ok we get off the donkeys here and we walk thru this part. it's too dangerous because we go near the edge of the cliff..." "...come on donkey! move! donkey you're not moving! move!..." "...it's so hot! i'm dying..." "...there's not one blade of grass anywhere. i'm guna get so sunburnt..." "...water...i need water. i'm dying. how much further is the valley of the kings!?..." "...the valley is very far. we can go, no problem for me, but maybe you want stop for cold drink instead? i know a good cafe down the bottom there..." "...bugger the valley! let's go get a cold drink instead..." "...i'll have another beer..." "...another beer please!..." "...yes, yes, very bad how they hassle tourists all the time. typical egyptians. i'm not like that though. i run my business different..." "...food at your hotel is not very good. nobody likes to eat there..." "...i don't want him to help me get back up on the donkey. he's drunk. i'll get up on my own. oh shit! i buckled the poor thing. sorry donkey!..." "...very very fun! very very fun!..." "...um, jacs, what are you doing down there?..." "...i told my donkey to turn and he wouldn't. ouch, i think i scrapped my arm..." "...she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes! she'll be riding 3 white donkeys when she comes! make them go faster! this is so much fun!!!!!..." "...ahhhh, i'm falling! donkey, slow down! slow down donkey! aaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!! ouch..." "...no, really i'm ok. no i didn't break anything, i'm ok. really..." "...you want orange juice?..." "...baksheesh? why you no give me baksheesh? the tour was very good, you tell me you enjoyed it. why you no give me baksheesh now?..." "...he a poofter! a bloody poofter!..." "...thank you for telling us what he was saying. can you call him and get him to come to the hotel? he borrowed money from us and he won't give it back for long time. ask him to come here..." "...you come back in ten one months and visit me? you very nice lady. please come back soon!..." "...aaaarggggggh! shut uuuuuuup!!!!!!! stop talking for a minute! we've got a hotel already we don't need accommodation!!..." "...is ok if i smoke some hashish? you like some hashish? very good hashish..." "...you from where? oww, australia!! you have bewdaful ayes! welcome! aussie aussie!..." "...you try all the perfumes, no problem. i tell you egyptian joke?..." "...we go out tonight with my friends? i give you mobile number you call me..." "...hey! australia, you walking the wrong way! this way you come!..." "...yo! nice bobs man!..." "...i never forget the first words you speak to me...no...waaaay!..." "...yo homeboy! wassup? what's news?..." "...i want to change egypt. i don't want this country to stay like this forever. this fuckin government is bullshit man..." "...i wait for you all day at the other hotel your friend tell me you stay at. all day. i no sleep all night because i was working, and all day i wait and wait but is wrong hotel. look how tired my eyes are. now i must go to work again at the club. you will come tonight? i want to see you again..." "...do you really have to leave tomorrow? if you stay we get married and you live with me..." "...i'm guna be sick. please just make it stop! this is the worst ferry i've ever been on! that poor lady hasn't stopped throwing up the whole way! everyone else is starting to throw up too..." "...you girls go with the taxi and i'll go on the bus. i'll see you in dahab..." "...shit he can't start the taxi...puuuush..." "...i can't believe we're stuck in the middle of the desert..." "...check out the locks and the windows! they're going balistic! i can't believe this old things even got electrics!..." "...i'll message jacs and get her to send someone to pick us up or we're guna be here forever..." "...beep beep...ems they're on their way from the hotel. someone will be there to pick you guys up soon..." "...this place is so cool! how chilled out is it!?..." "...i'm ready for food and then sleep. we'll have something quick and then we'll go find a place to stay..." "...yeah, we'll take it. 10pounds you said, right?..." "...jacs, this place is amazing. now i know what you were going on about all those times!..." "...here's some water to spray the cats with..." "...tomorrow there is a full moon party at the black prince. everyone will be there. it'll be a great night. you're welcome to come if you want..." "...are you going to the full moon party tomorrow night?..." "...full moon party tomorrow night!..." "...i'll pick you up at 10 and we'll walk there together..." "...he just bought us a whole bottle of vodka. what the hell are we spos to do with a whole bottle!?..." "...no baby, i really love you baby. come on habiba why you no believe me?..." "...what an amazing place! i can't believe we're sitting here by the red sea, looking at saudi arabia, while drinking strawberry and banana juice, in egypt! the 3 of us! who would've thought!..." "...oh...my...goodness! look at the size of those meals!..." "...is that a donkey? oops! it's the immamm. he sounded like a donkey! no really! i thought it was a donkey at first!..." "...no no is not same quality. you look at this quality. is same as other one? no!..." "...aussie aussie!..." "...i give you special price..." "...come on girls wake up! come oooon! it's already 2 o'clock!..." "...all you girls wana do is sleep and shop! i think i chose the wrong travel partners!...we're in dahab for god's sake, you can't spend the whole day sleeping!..." "...aussie aussie!..." "...aaaaahhhhhhhhhh shut up jacs! let us sleep!..." "...ems can you straighten my hair?..." "...hey aussie aussie!..." "...let's go to tota's for a drink tonight. the boys will be there too..." "...what kind of a taxi is this? it's a freakin ute!..." "...ok, this is a weird party! look at all the bedouin men dancing around in their dresses!..." "...aussie aussie!..." "...i'm busting for pee pee. i can't see a toilet. bring some paper and we'll go for a walk. look, there's a wall. that'll do!..." "...fran, there's a dog watching you pee..." "...aussie aussie!..." "...nuh, i can't be bothered coming to the blue hole. i'll go to the internet cafe and look for some cheap flights to turkey while you girls are out and when you get back we can go to tota's again for a drink..." "...aussie aussie!..." "...i'm hungry again. which cafe do we try this time?..." "...i'm hangry too..." "...hungry or angry?..." "...yes, hangry..." "...what the hell is hangry? angry or hungry??..." "...come on habiba, why don't you stay here? i love you habiba. stay here with me..." "...i know you will come back. i wait for you. i know you come back for sure because they say if you come to dahab one time you will always come back. i wait for you habiba..." "...let's go to tota's for the last time. just remember we have to be at the bus station by 9..." "...we're cabbing it yeah? there's one now. oh i've gotta take a photo of this. this is so bizzare. imagine rocking up to retro in the trailer of a ute!..." "...we still have to organise our tickets to istanbul. maybe that chick i met on the plane can help us..." "...he was spos to be here hours ago. we can't wait much longer. we're so screwed if this doesn't come thru. the plane leaves in a few hours and we still need to go pick out those perfumes..." "...about bloody time! he's finally here..." "...i'll have 4 of these and 2 of these and 3 of these..." "...bye josie! yes, i promise i'll look after her. yes, i promise i'll remind her to message you every few days. don't stress. have a good trip home and we'll see you in oz in a couple of months! bye now!..." "...i need to throw up!..." "...wow, that's some way to let turkey know that you've arrived!..." "...let's go get something to eat across the road and then we'll come back and see if fran's feeling any better..." "...turkey's not as cheap as i expected it to be..." "...everyone's so friendly here!..." "...you put this scarf over your hair and your shoes in this bag before you go into mosque..." "...this feels surreal. it's so calm and peaceful in here. everything looks fuzzy. i feel like lying down on the carpet and going to sleep..." "...can you smell foot odor or is it just me..." "...nuh, it's probably my socks, i haven't changed them for about 6 days now..." "...ow! jacs man, you're feral!..." "...it's not my fault! i've run out of clean socks, we haven't done washing for a week!..." "...i'm guna head home, i still feel sick..." "...du wana check out that bellydancing show that's on in the basement tonight? we can go for a couple of quick drinks..." "...i'm having the best time! let's take over the dj booth!..." "...i said to the man are you trying to tempt me, because i come from the land of plenty?..." "...please don't say you're sorry! i don't wana hear, i don't wana know da ta ta da da da!..." "...this is unreal! check out those two girls dancing like spastics!..." "...is this what the grand bazar's all about? i'm not really that impressed. i was kinda expecting more harrassment and more carpets. maybe we're in the wrong area?..." "...it's not very turkish here is it? you hardly hear any turkish music playing. i was expecting it to be more traditional..." "...you come to my brother's shop. he has travel agency, he make good price for capadoccia..." "...i have 2 religions - i am catholic by day, and alcoholic by night..." "...let's just book it from that first place we went to. i can't be bothered stuffing around all day..." "...where are you from? australia! welcome! aussie aussie!..." "...you're from egypt too! aaaahhh! oh i so miss that place! i was living there for a year! oh i'm so excited that i met another egyptian!..." "...apple tea!!!!! mm mmmm! love it! i'm guna stock up on this stuff! i'm guna buy enough to last me til next time i come to turkey!..." "...let's go back to the basement bar for a couple of quiet ones..." "...it's 4am - what time do we have to be up in the morning? 6am!!!!! it's probably not even worth going to bed now!..." "...ooooouch! who the hell put that window there! it was a door only a minute ago! i tried to walk thru it! ooooouch! there's a freakin lump on my head! bastard!..." "...these busses are pretty flash aren't they? they smell pretty good too. go turkey!...." "...would you like something to drink? have some tea. HAVE SOME TEA!..." "...scus me lady! no no no!..." "...did he just scrub the seat where i had my foot up? weird!!..." "...phone? your phone on? who's phone on???! which people has phone on?..." "...oh man i'm busting. all that bloody tea on the bus! and i didn't even want it!...i need toilet baaad!..." "...whadayamean we have to swap busses and wait for the other people?? i...need...toilet...NOW!..." "...i'll hold, i can't use those toilets. they're putrid, the smell is burning my nose. you're brave. i'll wait outside..." "...nooooooo! my camera broke! what the hell! i was just using it!..." "...look at this amazing landscape. i've never seen anything like it before!..." "...check out the fairy chimneys!..." "...i can't believe how hard it is to find a good turkish kebab in turkey..." "...i told you to go veg jacs..." "...i still haven't seen a decent moustache. i'm so disappointed..." "...are those pistols? they're pistols! i can't believe they sell pistols in a market! i gotta take a photo!..." "...this coffee is disgusting. i asked for coffee with milk and they gave me turkish coffee with milk in it. that taste even worse than plain turkish coffee. think i'll just stick to apple tea next time..." "...where you from? australia! welcome! aussie aussie!..." "...ok, we will be leaving from anzac house at 7.45am to take the ferry across to eceabat..." "...are you anzac? welcome to turkey!..." "...hello to our visitors, my name is gazi and i'll be your tour guide for the day..." "...some people have asked me to give you time to go down to the water at anzac cove so we'll meet back here in 20mins. please don't be late because we have many things to see today..." "...and here is another cemetary with many young boys lying under the gravestones. take your time, look around and i'll explain more about it on the bus..." "...they're setting up for tonight. when you return here tonight you'll be taken thru a security checkpoint where they will search your bags..." "...these guys offered us a seat on their mat. it's nice and close here..." "...it's so cold! my lips are going numb!..." "...is that an egg? it looks like a fried egg? what the hell's an egg doing on the anzac emblem? oh, it's a flower? it still looks like an egg to me..." "...i'm shivering. i can't get warm. i can't believe there's people here in shorts! what the hell were they thinking??..." "...beep beep emy news just in terrorist attack in seaside resort dahab bomb killed 100 people news still coming in. it missed you by days. be careful, dad..." "...oh no! no no no! jacs, read this. i just checked my phone and there was a message from my dad. there's gota be some mistake!..." "...i can't believe this! how can they bomb dahab! i need to find out more! maybe there's been some mistake!..." "...can everybody please stand up and move forward to make space for the late comers. the dawn service will be starting very soon..." "...did you find out anything more? has your cousin messaged you? does she know what happened? where were the bombs? how many? who was hurt? oh god, i hope it wasn't anyone we know! why!??? why dahab?..." "...i can't do this. let's go back to the hotel and make some calls. i need to find out what happened..." "...we'll hitch a ride. here, this guy will take us for 3lira. let's get in..." "...let's have a look what it says on the net. there might be some info on there..." "...you can go back to the room you were in last night to get some sleep. you look very tired..." "...there are many kurds in turkey..." "...do you want to eat bbq tonight? what will you have? chicken? fish? vegetarian? yes we make vegetarian..." "...do you feel like going out after the bbq? we can go for a couple of quiet ones..." "...i'm guna give tonight a miss. i'm tired and we gotta be up early to go to pammukale..." "...what time did ibo and sezgin say they were guna meet us at jimmy's?..." "...happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you!..." "...happy 9 month anniversary my nomad sister! we made it!..." "...i can't believe you're going home tomorrow fran. i can't believe this has all come to an end. it's been real maude. thanks for everything..." "...is that a guy or a girl?..." "...come up and dance on the table with me..." "...time for another drink?..." "...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend! oh shit, i can't believe i'm crying. have a great trip tomorrow fran and message me as soon as you arrive in oz! i can't believe this is all over..." "...i'm not ready to call it a night yet. let's go for a walk down to the harbour..." "...larisa has very big jail..." "...i go get you coffee. and chocolate. what chocolate you like?..." "...we still gotta walk up that hill..." "...i can't believe it's your last day today. let's go shopping and we'll meet up with jacs later..." "...62 kilos!..." "...shh you little shit!..." "...goodbye fran! it's been real my nomad sister. see you back in oz. have a safe trip. goodbye. goodbye..."

 

END OF ACT IV