"...no, i'm not paying 160 dirham. we find another taxi..." "...check this out! it's amazing! look at all the people in the square!..." "...i have to message jacs and tell her about it!..." "...beep beep...ems, i'm so jealous. i can't wait to hear those arabic drums as well and feel the warm breeze. not long to go now! see you in egypt in a couple of weeks!..." "...aaaaalllllaaaaah!!!!..." "...what the???..." "...i put monkey on your arm!...take photo! take photo!..." "...please take monkey off my arm...and don't take photo..." "...is that a table full of false teeth over there??..." "...i have to have some of that mint tea! mm mmmm..." "...come come!...free to look! no pay!..." "...hello! where you from? australia! welcome welcome! aussie aussie! you look for free! i have many leather bag. shoes? lights? i have spices and herbs! please, you look for free, no pay!..." "...you look like from maroc. you maroccan? no? but you look like from maroc!..." "...you have beautaful ayes!..." "...i'm guna have a mint tea..." "...no no, i'm not guide. i just help you. my uncle has shop here with many nice things. you come see. if you no like, you no buy..." "...bonjour mademoiselle...sa va? oh you very beautaful..." "...you from america? english? australian??...oh! welcome welcome! aussie aussie! you come look to my shop...no no please, just look! i make special price for you! please you look..." "...where the hell have we ended up?...let's follow those white guys there. they're obviously tourists too, hopefully they'll be going back to the square soon..." "...these bags stink!..." "...i make you tea...berber hospitality...now, which carpets you like to buy?..." "...you have something to give me? a pen maybe? something from australia?..." "...20 dirham is nothing. you give me 50..." "...aaaaaaaaaaahhhh! em those women are chasing us!..." "...i make good henna tattoo! why you run away??..." "...did you bring toilet paper. yeah, it's a squat. good luck with that..." "...let's do that sahara tour. it sounds pretty good..." "...aaaaaalllaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!..." "...no more tagine. i can't handle tagine one more time. or couscous. no couscous, no tagine..." "...5 more minutes. pleeeease! i'm still so tired. just another 5mins..." "...i'm sure they said we had to meet here at 7am. it's 10 past now, no? they must have meant 7am moroccan time. i could've slept in an extra 10mins!..." "...that's the most bizzare landscape - look, snow, desert and an oasis all within meters of each other. and look at all those men sitting around doing nothing. how do they pass the time every day? check it out, they're everywhere!..." "...they must be boiling in those long black dresses. they're crazy walking around in this heat. i wonder where they're going?? the closest village is bloody miles away! those poor babies wrapped up under those black dresses must be suffocating..." "...look at that! it's so moroccan! those women are carrying baskets of stuff on their heads! and look at that dude working on that field with a donkey!..." "...check that out! there's a guy sleeping by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere..." "...did you see what that little kid was selling? it looked like dried fish. was it dried fish? why would you be selling dried fish to tourists in the middle of the desert? why would a tourist want to buy dried fish in the middle of the desert? wierd..." "...i can't believe i've caught a cold in this heat..." "...that dinner was unreal. i don't usually like couscous but that was so nice. i'm ready to hit the bed now. we've gotta be up early again in the morning..." "...there's no water in this gorge. does that still make it a gorge?..." "...bonjour mademoiselle. sa va? where you from? you have bewdaful ayes. come look at my shop. i have many bewdaful things. you need scarf? i have scarf. look only 50 dirhams..." "...no fran, you don't need another scarf. don't make eye contact and just keep walking..." "...let's go eat, i'm starving. great, tagine again. over it!!..." "...look at those kids carrying stuff with the donkeys. surely they should be at school instead of working on the farms. we don;t realise how lucky we are in australia..." "...check out those women washing their clothes in the river! i wana take a photo of them!..." "...no photograph. if you take a photo of the women you have to ask first. you can take photo of men and animals no problem, but not the women. very bad to take photo of the women so please don't..." "...now we visit berber kasbah. don't give the children anything because if you give one you will have many many children from the kasbah asking for something too..." "...please take off shoes before going into house. ok, now please take a seat. we show you how we make berber carpets..." "...if you no buy anything we still friends. if you buy something very good, but if no, we still friends..." "...pleeease buy berber carpet. this is how we make our living. very good carpets. we have many many for you to choose from. very good carpets..." "...is this the sahara!!??..." "...ok, please take only what you will need for tonight and leave everything else in the van. we will be taking the camels from here and sleeping in the desert tonight..." "...hahaha check that out! that camel ran away and that dude's chasing it thru the desert!..." "...it's not as hot as i thought it would be..." "...i'm guna call my camel max. max the moroccan camel..." "...is that the tent we're guna be sleeping in tonight??..." "...i've never slept in a tent before..." "...i'm claiming that mattress in the corner...oh my, this is guna be an interesting night..." "...look at all the stars! can you believe where we are??! look around you! we're guna be sleeping in the middle of the sahara desert in morocco tonight! who would've thought??! of all the things i never expected to do in my life, this is probably one of them..." "...tagine again. how the hell are we spos to eat this with our hands??..." "...happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!..." "...what other songs would you like us to play?..." "...i'm busting for pee pee. did you bring any paper with you?..." "...here, i've got some. take this torch with you too, you're guna need it. watch out for the wet patches..." "...aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! what the hell was that noise??? what's in the bushes!? it's a donkey. oh my god, the donkey's watching me pee! i can't go, i've got performance anxiety!..." "...em, will you hurry up! i'm busting!..." "...i can't believe i just peed in the sahara. that's probably how palm trees grow our here where it doesn't rain..." "...i'm guna sit by the fire for a while and watch the moonrise. see you in the morning, nice and early. like, 6am early...night maude!..." "...that's amazing! look at it coming up over the sanddune behind us! look how quickly it's rising! how beautiful! i can't believe what my eyes are seeing - the moon rising over a sand dune in the sahara desert!..." "...i...can't...do...this...any...more..." "...look at the colours of the sunrise! this is spectacular! come on fran, just a bit further! we're nearly there! you can do it!..." "...no...i...can't...i...can't...breath...properly..." "...this isn't max! who took max!! max had an earring in his nose! this isn't maaaaaaax! ok, i'll take this one then, but i'm calling him wazza! wazza the moroccan camel!..." "...can you believe it's only 9am? we've already climbed a sanddune, rode a camel and had breakfast in the sahara. as if anyone's guna believe us when we tell them. did you take some photos at least so we have proof?..." "...this is pee pee stop. 5minutes and then you come back to bus..." "...is that hail? it's hail! it's hailing in the desert!..." "...can someone ask him to slow down! i've aged ten years in the last 3 hours! did you see how close he's getting to the cliff??!..." "...did you see that?? the bus driver just stopped to let a chicken cross the road! there's gotta be a joke in there somewhere..." "...no, this is booked out. i will help you get a room in the other hotel. much nicer and i will tell him to make same price for you..." "...i'm guna use the net for a while. i'll check out flights to egypt. and there's no hope in hell that i'm going back to that market..." "...there was another pair of jeans in here. i'm sure i gave them to you to wash. oh, please don't tell me you lost my jeans, they're my favourite pair!..." "...em, um, your jeans are sitting on the bed..." "...oh thank goodness! oops, i better go tell them i found them so they stop looking for them..." "...i reckon we just skip casablanca, i'm not fussed if we don't go there..." "...my sister wants these 'hand of fatima' thingies so i gotta go back to the markets. i'm so dreading it..." "...i wonder how much those light shade things are. i want a couple for my sunroom..." "...can't believe i'm guna see jacs soon after 8 months!..." "...i just got an email telling me that the information for the flight to cairo is wrong. they reckon i gave them the wrong address..." "...um, am i seeing right? is that nipple cream up there??..." "...you want how much for the bandaids? forget it dude, i'm not paying 20 bucks for a box of bandaids! are they made of gold or sumn??..." "...ok, ok, last price. what is your last price?..." "...do you wana try some of that orange juice from those stalls?..." "...let's just get something to eat from that joint we went to last time and go back to the hotel and eat. i can't be bothered dealing with the hassle tonight..." "...what are we guna do til 3pm? let's just go to the internet and kill some time there before we catch the bus to essaouria..." "...that was the worst taxi ride! these people drive like maniacs! i thought we were guna die..." "...nuh, we didn't book any accommodation either. we'll figure sumn out when we get there..." "...no, it's very close to town. you come have a look, if you no like you no have to stay. it's just around this corner. one more corner and we're there. just follow me, is not very far. another 5 minutes..." "...i have apartment my friend. very close to old town. follow me..." "...la, shukran..." "...please my friend, i have apartment. very cheap. close to old town. just around the corner. follow me..." "...la, shukran we said!..." "...my friend, you listen to me, i have very good apartment, very very cheap. i make special price for you. please you come look, you no like you no have to stay..." "...i just wana eat and go to sleep..." "...tagine again! they don't have any other vegie food. i'm so over tagine!..." "...this banana juice is magic! i should've just had that and skipped the tagine!..." "...this restaurant is so nice. you really know you're in morocco here hey? i love the way they've set it up..." "...you bargain very hard. you very difficult woman. like berber woman. very difficult. OK! OK! i make it 300 dirham. i no make much profit, this not good price for me..." "...hi how are you girls? i'm still so tired from the sahara trip. would you like to have some mint tea at the hotel where i'm staying? it's not far from here..." "...i'm going to the post office to get rid of this stuff..." "...i'm just guna chill for a while. i can't be bothered doing anything right now. i'll go to the post later..." "...you've been playing with your phone and your camera for an hour now, are they really that interesting?..." "...my name is said and this is my friend hamid. are you doing anything later? would you like to go horseriding at the beach?..." "...i'll send my friend a message and see if she wants to come too..." "...beep beep yeah, i'm in. i'll meet you there in 10..." "...and if you don't have plans for tonight we are going out to this nice club if you would like to come with us..." "...my horse won't move! and look! fran's stuck on the other side of the beach. her horse isn't listening to her. hahaha this is so funny! bob! hurry up bob! move will ya! giddyup!..." "...they're playing hotel california! let's have another bottle of wine! i'm having the best time!..." "...pshiaaaaaaaaaoooooow!..." "...i don't want tonight to end. let's go to the beach after this place closes..." "...said is catching the bus with us to fez..." "...oh shit, we're guna be so so late. i hope the bus waits for us! how much to take our things to the busstop?? ruuuuuuun!!!!!!!!..." "...i told the bus to wait, they were ready to leave without you..." "...this is forbidden! for-bid-den!..." "...all the hotels are booked. there's no beach in fes either, where the hell are we spos to sleep tonight??..." "...i know someone with hotel. not very nice hotel but they will let you stay if i ask them..." "...this hotel is so festy. as soon as we get up tomorrow we check out and go find somewhere else to stay..." "...these beds don't look too safe. there's probably bedbugs all over them. this is gross. i'm busting to go toilet too but i reckon i'll wait til the morning. if the state of the room is anything to go by, there's no way i'm going to these ones..." "...em, i've caught your cold and i can't be bothered doing anything. go hang out with said. have a good time and i'll see you in a few days..." "...i'll meet you at that cafe again after i have a shower..." "...if police hear me talking to you about this stuff i will go to jail and nobody will be able to find me. that's why i hate this fuckin government and this fuckin king! we are not free here..." "...be careful. there is a donkey coming around the corner..." "...we go to my house now. i will make tea for you..." "...i need to do washing said, i'm guna go back to hotel. maybe fran will be there and we can do our washing. i'll meet you at the cafe later..." "...if you want you give me your washing. i'll wash it for you.  we have a washing machine now!..." "...waha?..." "...aallllaaaaahhh..." "...she'll be comin round the mountains when she comes!..." "...why are you so happy today hmm??..." "...i can't believe we're leaving fes tomorrow. morocco's over and done with also. we've only got egypt and turkey and then you go home. and i'm guna see jacs in 2 days! can you believe it!? and my parents are guna be here in a month! our trip's over fran. i could cry..." "...do you really have to leave tomorrow? nature will be angry..." "...pshiaaaaaaaaaaow!..." "...there was an eclipse this morning! i told you nature will be angry if you leave!! i told you!! you don't listen to me but i know the nature! i told you the nature will be angry! see, the sun hide behind the moon. i told you to stay!..." "...waha?..." "...goodbye said. goodbye mushkille..." "...em! i thought you missed the train! i was looking out the window for you and i didn't see you get on! you gave me a heartattack! are you ok? how was it saying goodbye to him?..." "...check out the double beds! this is the most luxurious hotel we've stayed in in the last 8months!..." "...what are you doing with the chair! oh! i thought you were guna use it to get into the shower!!..." "...if we do our washing now hopefully it'll be ready by the morning. we'll get up early and take it off the line when we get up..." "...i'll take everything and put it in the machine while you have a shower and you can hang it up when it's done..." "...everything's still soaking wet! we're guna have to put our clothes into our backpacks wet. it's guna stink..." "...the next train doesn't get here for another half hour! i hope we get to the airport in time..." "...there's an emirates office here. we'll go check our stuff in and then come back and see if we can change our flights home from here..." "...what time is it??! our plane's boarding already! i just heard the announcement!! ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunn!!..." "...an exit form?? what do you mean we have to fill out an exit form??? our plane's boarding!!!!..." "...what do you mean you don't have any exit forms left??? our plane's boarding!!!! how long do we have to wait for you to get more exit forms?? OUR...PLANE...IS...BOARDING!!!!!..." "...shit, i forgot to exchange my moroccan dirhams. i've still got heaps left! and it's illegal to take them out of the country! what the hell am i spos to do with all that money!? i can't use it anywhere else..." "...ruuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..." "...i can't believe we nearly missed our flight to egypt! after all this time that i've been hanging to see jacs and we were guna miss our flight! we never learn do we?..." "...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the one for me..."

 

END OF ACT III